This is an IELTS writing task 2 sample answer related to looking after children from the real past IELTS test.
This is an interesting question but there are some tricky areas as well.
The question is:
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work.
What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
In some ways, the question is too easy – the answer is too obvious.
That can make it harder to write about.
Keep scrolling to read how I handled this both easy and hard question!
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Dave
IELTS Essay: Looking after Children
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work.
What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
It is becoming increasingly common for fathers to be primary caretakers while wives develop their careers. I believe this is because of a societal shift in gender relations and it is a positive development.
The most obvious cause of more women in the workplace is modern gender relations. As recently as the 1950s in the United States, it was the unquestioned role of women to cook, clean, and look after the children. Many progressive women began to feel that they were more than their biological prerogative and feminism movements sprouted up in the 1960s. There have been years of struggle and the wage gap is still a hotly debated issue but now most reasonable adults accept that both men and women should have equal opportunity to pursue a career.
On the whole, I believe this is a positive development because women can contribute greatly to society. Since women have come into the workforce en masse there are countless examples of high performing professionals including CEOs like Shery Sandberg, athletes like Serena Williams, and authors like Margaret Atwood. That belies the impact of millions of women performing well in the average job. A company meeting a few decades ago might have been more one-sided in its male dominated viewpoints, but now it is likely to showcase more female viewpoints. This added perspective is one key to creative thinking and greatly enhances decision-making and the resultant products and services of many companies.
In conclusion, the advent of women in the workforce has brought great benefits to the world. The pertinent question is now how quickly will all parts of the world adopt these progressive improvements.
Analysis
1. It is becoming increasingly common for fathers to be primary caretakers while wives develop their careers. 2. I believe this is because of a societal shift in gender relations and it is a positive development.
- I paraphrase the overall essay topic to begin.
- Then write clear answers to both questions. Read more about introductions here.
1. The most obvious cause of more women in the workplace is modern gender relations. 2. As recently as the 1950s in the United States, it was the unquestioned role of women to cook, clean, and look after the children. 3. Many progressive women began to feel that they were more than their biological prerogative and feminism movements sprouted up in the 1960s. 4. There have been years of struggle and the wage gap is still a hotly debated issue but now most reasonable adults accept that both men and women should have equal opportunity to pursue a career.
- I write a clear topic sentence with my main idea at the end.
- Then I start a especific example.
- And develop the example.
- I state the full results so that my idea is fully developed.
1. On the whole, I believe this is a positive development because women can contribute greatly to society. 2. Since women have come into the workforce en masse there are countless examples of high performing professionals including CEOs like Shery Sandberg, athletes like Serena Williams, and authors like Margaret Atwood. 3. That belies the impact of millions of women performing well in the average job. 4. A company meeting a few decades ago might have been more one-sided in its male dominated viewpoints, but now it is likely to showcase more female viewpoints. 5. This added perspective is one key to creative thinking and greatly enhances decision-making and the resultant products and services of many companies.
- Here is another topic sentence with a new main idea.
- Then I explain and begin developing the idea.
- I vary my use of long and short sentences.
- I include a hypothetical example.
- Finally, I state the full results.
1. In conclusion, the advent of women in the workforce has brought great benefits to the world. 2. The pertinent question is now how quickly will all parts of the world adopt these progressive improvements.
- I repeat my opinion.
- Then I add a final thought/detail. Read more about conclusions here.
Vocabulary
What do the words in bold below mean?
It is becoming increasingly common for fathers to be primary caretakers while wives develop their careers. I believe this is because of a societal shift in gender relations and it is a positive development.
The most obvious cause of more women in the workplace is modern gender relations. As recently as the 1950s in the United States, it was the unquestioned role of women to cook, clean, and look after the children. Many progressive women began to feel that they were more than their biological prerogative and feminism movements sprouted up in the 1960s. There have been years of struggle and the wage gap is still a hotly debated issue but now most reasonable adults accept that both men and women should have equal opportunity to pursue a career.
On the whole, I believe this is a positive development because women can contribute greatly to society. Since women have come into the workforce en masse there are countless examples of high performing professionals including CEOs like Shery Sandberg, athletes like Serena Williams, and authors like Margaret Atwood. That belies the impact of millions of women performing well in the average job. A company meeting a few decades ago might have been more one-sided in its male dominated viewpoints, but now it is likely to showcase more female viewpoints. This added perspective is one key to creative thinking and greatly enhances decision-making and the resultant products and services of many companies.
In conclusion, the advent of women in the workforce has brought great benefits to the world. The pertinent question is now how quickly will all parts of the world adopt these progressive improvements.
Answers
increasingly common more and more popular
primary caretakers main persona responsible for looking after the kids
societal shift change in how society thinks
gender relations how men/women interact
most obvious cause clearest source
modern gender relations recent developments in males and females in society
as recently as starting as soon as
unquestioned role undoubted place
look after take care of
progressive women forward thinking women
biological prerogative what our bodies are meant to do naturally
feminism movements the rights of women
sprouted up started to appear
struggle conflict with
wage gap differences in pay
hotly debated issue fiercely argued topic
most reasonable adults accept the majority of normal people recognise
equal opportunity the same access, ability
pursue a career have a job
contribute greatly add a lot
come into the workforce start working
en masse in total
countless examples many instances
high performing professionals top level workers
belies undermines
performing well doing a good job
average job normal work
a few decades ago 20 – 30 years ago
one-sided not showing both perspectives
male dominated viewpoints the opinions of men
showcase display
female viewpoints women’s opinions
added perspective different viewpoint
one key one important part
greatly enhances decision-making makes a big difference in making decisions
resultant products products produced as a result
advent of women start of women
brought great benefits to the world added a lot of positives for everyone
pertinent question pressing concern
adopt enact
progressive improvements modern changes
Pronunciation
ɪnˈkriːsɪŋli ˈkɒmən
ˈpraɪməri ˈkeəˌteɪkəz
səˈsaɪətl ʃɪft
ˈʤɛndə rɪˈleɪʃənz
məʊst ˈɒbvɪəs kɔːz
ˈmɒdən ˈʤɛndə rɪˈleɪʃənz
æz ˈriːsntli æz
ʌnˈkwɛsʧənd rəʊl
lʊk ˈɑːftə
prəʊˈgrɛsɪv ˈwɪmɪn
ˌbaɪəʊˈlɒʤɪkəl prɪˈrɒgətɪv
ˈfiːmɪz(ə)m ˈmuːvmənts
ˈspraʊtɪd ʌp
ˈstrʌgl
weɪʤ gæp
ˈhɒtli dɪˈbeɪtɪd ˈɪʃuː
məʊst ˌriːˈsʌnəbl ˈædʌlts əkˈsɛpt
ˈiːkwəl ˌɒpəˈtjuːnɪti
pəˈsjuː ə kəˈrɪə
kənˈtrɪbju(ː)t ˈgreɪtli
kʌm ˈɪntuː ðə ˈwɜːkˌfɔːs
ɛn mæs
ˈkaʊntlɪs ɪgˈzɑːmplz
haɪ pəˈfɔːmɪŋ prəˈfɛʃənlz
bɪˈlaɪz
pəˈfɔːmɪŋ wɛl
ˈævərɪʤ ʤɒb
ə fjuː ˈdɛkeɪdz əˈgəʊ
wʌn-ˈsaɪdɪd
meɪl ˈdɒmɪneɪtɪd ˈvjuːpɔɪnts
ˈʃəʊkeɪs
ˈfiːmeɪl ˈvjuːpɔɪnts
ˈædɪd pəˈspɛktɪv
wʌn kiː
ˈgreɪtli ɪnˈhɑːnsɪz dɪˈsɪʒən-ˈmeɪkɪŋ
rɪˈzʌltənt ˈprɒdʌkts
ˈædvənt ɒv ˈwɪmɪn
brɔːt greɪt ˈbɛnɪfɪts tuː ðə wɜːld
ˈpɜːtɪnənt ˈkwɛsʧən
əˈdɒpt
prəʊˈgrɛsɪv ɪmˈpruːvmənts
Vocabulary Practice
Remember and fill in the blanks:
It is becoming i______________________n for fathers to be p___________________s while wives develop their careers. I believe this is because of a s___________________t in g_________________s and it is a positive development.
The m__________________e of more women in the workplace is m_____________________s. A_________________s the 1950s in the United States, it was the u____________________e of women to cook, clean, and l______________r the children. Many p_____________________n began to feel that they were more than their b___________________e and f______________________s s_________________p in the 1960s. There have been years of s___________e and the w____________p is still a h__________________e but now m_________________________t that both men and women should have e________________________y to p________________r.
On the whole, I believe this is a positive development because women can c____________________y to society. Since women have c_____________________e e___________e there are c______________________s of h____________________________s including CEOs like Shery Sandberg, athletes like Serena Williams, and authors like Margaret Atwood. That b__________s the impact of millions of women p___________________l in the a______________b. A company meeting a______________________o might have been more o____________d in its m_____________________________s, but now it is likely to s______________e more f______________________s. This a______________________e is o_________y to creative thinking and g__________________________________g and the r______________________s and services of many companies.
In conclusion, the a____________________n in the workforce has b_______________________________________d. The p____________________n is now how quickly will all parts of the world a_________t these p___________________________________s.
Listening Practice
Learn about the history of women in the workplace here:
Reading Practice
Read an interesting, related article from The Atlantic below:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/the-queen-bee-in-the-corner-office/534213/
May I know, if I can use repetitive words similar to what has been used in this essay like “women” 8 times? Please let me know.
It depends on the word – if it cannot be easily and naturally paraphrased and it is important part of the topic then it is absolutely fine.
The number of fathers who stay at home rather than work outside has increased markedly in recent years. While the growing unemployment rate has largely contributed to this increase, in my opinion, this is a positive overall as it helps the couples appreciate each other’s roles.
The primary reason for the growing number of stay-at-home fathers can be the lack of decent job opportunities open to the fathers who are commonly without a university degree. Disappointed to find a career to make a decent living, men have chosen to stay at home to both care for the family and lower the cost of hiring a babysitter. As an example, I can refer to an old neighbor of mine who, upon his compulsory redundancy, had to stay home and work as an at-home father to save the expenses and let his partner keep working.
The benefits that accrue from being a stay-at-home father are considerable. For a long time, fatherhood has been associated with being the breadwinner of the family while motherhood has always been the symbol of housekeeping. When males take on the role of caretaking, females will be given a chance to work outside the home to support the entire family financially. As a result of this exchange of roles, there will be a greater appreciation for their partner’s contribution which is certainly positive for family dynamics. This way, not only is the perception of masculinity and femininity altered, but both parents are less likely to take each other’s contributions for granted.
In conclusion, due to an increase in the unemployment rate, men have been forced to be out of the workforce and stay with their children at home. This can greatly benefit partnership as both parents are given a rather unconventional role. Parents should then consider this as a unique opportunity rather than a limitation. (307 words)
Dear Dave
I really do not expect your reaction on all my essays here as I understand you are very busy. Thank you anyway for your generosity.
No problem – I try to get to everyone who comments when I can.
Your dedication is really impressive, Hooshmand!