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Students often ask me what’s the best way to write an introduction if you’re aiming for a high band score.
I always tell them they should include their main ideas as well as their clear opinion (position) in their introduction.
This isn’t necessary for every IELTS student but it’s highly recommended for students who want to improve to get a band 7 or above.
It will make your position and therefore your essay much clearer. This will boost your Coherence and Cohesion score as well as your Task Achievement.
Don’t miss out on my new Patreon exclusive essays here if you want to really improve on IELTS!
Dave
Example Question
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Look at the following model introductions.
1. Without main reasons:
It is often suggested that governments should increase investment in railway infrastructure rather than on new roads. Personally, I agree that the benefits of rail outweigh the apparent benefits of new roads. I will explain my reasons in this essay.
2. With main reasons:
It is often suggested that governments should increase investment in railway infrastructure rather than on new roads. Personally, I agree that the benefits of rail, which include less traffic and pollution, outweigh the apparent benefits of new roads. I will explain my reasons in this essay.
Notice the main reasons (less traffic and pollution) tell the reader exactly what will be discussed later.
This is a huge help for your cohesion and coherence!
The standard IELTS Task 2 essay structure is four paragraphs – an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with each body paragraph focussing on one main idea.
So for the introduction above the main idea for body paragraph 1 will be traffic, and the main idea for body paragraph 2 will be pollution.
If your essay follows this structure, then the position of your essay is extremely clear.
This will increase your ‘task response’ and ‘coherence and coherence’ scores.
Now it’s your turn! Put your answers in the comments
Brainstorm your main ideas and position for the question above and write an introduction. Put it in comments.
In some countries, governments are making some criminals do voluntary community work rather than being put in prison.
To what extent do you agree with this?
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In some parts of the world, offenders are compelled to participate in unpaid work instead of putting them behind the bars. Although the trend promises certain benefits of increased manpower for community work and some work experience while facing the penalty for criminal, it also comes at the cost of risk of the general public being exposed to the wrongdoer. This essay will discuss both sides of the fact before concluding that it would be better to limit public exposure of these criminals.
Great work! Here are some corrections: ‘In some parts of the world, offenders are compelled to participate in unpaid work instead of BEING PUT behind the bars. Although THIS trend promises certain benefits INCLUDING increased manpower for community work and some work experience while INCARCERATED, it also comes at the cost of THE risk of the general public being exposed to the wrongdoer. This essay will discuss both sides of the fact before concluding that it would be better to limit public exposure of these criminals.’
It is suggested that in some countries some criminals are punished by doing voluntary work for the community instead of putting them into jail. Personally, I believe that criminals still should be in prison, which can give them a hard lesson and decrease the threat to the public. In this essay, I will explain my reasons.
Good! Make sure that you paraphrase correctly – it is not whether or not they are punished but whether they should be!
It is sometimes argued that offenders should be forced to do some unpaid work in society, instead of being held in jail. I think that doing community work under supervision could be beneficial for criminals and society in general. In this essay, I will give my reasons why this trend have positive effects.
Great work! ‘why this trend will/would have a positive effect’!
Delinquents commitment in voluntary acts is preferred to sending them to jails in some nations. Personally, i agree that the benefits of doing unpaid tasks, which include training skilled workers and increasing efficiency, outweigh the apparent benefits of imprisonment.
Good work!
Some corrections:
Delinquents commitment in voluntary acts(I don’t understand what this means…)Doing community service is preferred to sending juvenile delinquents to jails in some nations. Personally, D agree that the benefits of doing unpaid tasks, which include skilled training, outweigsh the apparent benefits of imprisonment.
Crime does not pay, it is the responsibility of any nation to ensure justice is served to criminals. It is of the opinion of some people that offenders could be taught more and moral values and contribute to the growth of society by being working members and doing voluntary work like garbage collection, fireman rather than putting them in confinement to serve their sentence. This essay will provide evidence that although voluntary has its benefits, like contributing to society and learning skills, it is not the right course of action and criminals should be put behind bars.
Well written, Jay!
Crime does not pay is a nice expression but better for speaking as it is a bit informal.
Some other corrections:
I am of the opinion or…
Some strong vocabulary but be careful with your grammar: It is the opinion of some people that offenders could be taught moral values and contribute to the growth of society by working and doing voluntary work like garbage collection rather than putting them in confinement to serve their sentences.
Criminals, in some parts of the world, are kept involved in the society by engaging them in voluntary work which in my opinion is not better treatment of offenders as compared to their imprisonment. Criminals must be punished for their offense to have them have a good lesson in specific and to the society in general. I will discuss further in this essay that how this punishment will be a positive development.
Great introduction!
Corrections:
not a better treatment option for
their offense in order to not repeat the mistake
Otherwise great!
Thanks a lot Dave!
Your lessons are really helpful. Previously, I was worried about preparing myself for IELTS writing task 2 practice but now it seems I got what I really needed.
You’re welcome!
Some nations think that it is good to allow prisoners to do voluntary social work. Personally, I agree with this statement because of the freedom it gives to prisoners themselves and contribution it provides to national economy. I will explain my reasons in this essay.
Great work!
Some nations think that it is good to allow prisoners to do voluntary social work. Personally, I agree with this statement because of the freedom it gives to prisoners themselves and contribution it provides to national economy. I will explain my reasons in this essay.
Great!
THE national economy
But otherwise a perfect application of my strategy!
Governments around the world have their own way of penalizing offenders. However, in some countries authorities are allowing the criminals to help the society by doing some free of charge work instead of putting them behind the bars. Personally, I thoroughly agree with this notion due to the fact that contribution in society will make the criminals responsible individuals and eventually affect the community growth in a positive way.
Really nuanced and nice introdution!
Goverment of a different part of pockets, suggest to put there prisoners to do volunteriy community work to make them more responsible towards there surrounding, rather keeping them jail. This will be good for nothing. I agree to this statement and will be discussing this further by describing how it would be beneficial to there self improvisation as well to the community?
Be careful with some of those expressions if you are translating from your language – I don’t know what a ‘different part of pockets’ means. Also careful with your punctuation and level of formality. Why is it a question at the end?
Hi Dave, hope you are doing well. I graduated from the journalism program in Canada. While I was in the English class there, my English professor once mentioned for IELTS writings, you should only use the third-person point of view to express your ideas, even though they are your own opinions.
For example:
Instead of saying “Personally, I agree that the benefits of rail outweigh the apparent benefits of new roads. I will explain my reasons in this essay”, I would say “The benefits of rail is strongly believed that far outweigh the apparent benefits of new roads”.
What do you think about it? I am going to take my IELTS test for the second time after many years; therefore, I truly appreciate your help.
Many thanks,
Duy Anh
Hi Duy Anh, that is absolutely false and it is dealt with specifically during the IELTS training and is in the IELTS guidance handbook.
Don’t use ‘i’ too much but a couple times is absolutely fine for IELTS, though academic writing standards in different countries vary a bit on this point in university.
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.
In your above example you said that the main idea for body paragraph 1 will be traffic, and the main idea for body paragraph 2 will be pollution.
BUT
you had told before that paragraph 1 will be benefits of roads and paragraph 2 will be benefits of railway.?????
Yes, the full essay isn’t there right?
I think this is just showing you the method for the introduction.
It is best to have a main idea for both sides in the introduction if you can manage it.
Is that clear?
In some parts of the world, offenders are required to provide voluntary services to the society rather than being imprisoned. I agree with this view as it enables the criminals to develop their vocational skills and provides economic benefits to the society.
Great – genenrally it is better to dicuss both sides but you have nailed the intro!
in some parts of the world, some offenders are asked to participate in community services instead of being put behind the bars. I vehemently espouse that giving criminals a chance to contribute towards society is a great idea. However, it should be done under proper invigilation because criminals may possess a risk to the general public. This essay thus shall discuss both the views before reaching to a conclusion in the upcoming paragraphs.
Good introduction! Careful with some of your vocabulary – vehemently is too strong and informal!
It is often seen that the government would penalise the offenders for social community work instead of sentencing imprisonment. In my opinion, I agree that the benefits of this punishment, which solving the problem of society, outweighs putting them into jail.
Well written!
Use the present simple for true facts now: It is often argued that the government should…
It is often noted that, some nations are kept offenders involved in the society by engaging them in voluntary work, instead of being held in jail. Personally, I feel the main reason for this is to providing them a chance to contribute to society and bring positive developments in their perspectives and skills. I therefore feel this is a positive development. I will explain my reason in this essay.
Good work, Jun!
I wouldn’t start with that phrase ‘It is often noted that’ better to say ‘Many believe’
Great introduction otherwise!
Rehabilitation of a crimininal in a sòciety is a welcome development. The opinion of putting behind bar or participating in community works will depend on constitition of the place. Personally, i prefer community works because it will keep the individual mentally and physically fit.
Good structure on your introduction! Try writing the full essay too.
In some countries, unpaid community work is becoming increasingly papular for criminals as punishment instead of serving jail time. This idea allows them not only time to improve their lifestyle but also to obtain some social experience to become a better citizen
Good! So is that a complete agree for the question?
Few nations allow sentenced offenders to do community work instead of complete confinement in a prison. This is beneficial for offenders who are sentenced for less grievous crimes, but could have serious repercussions to the public in the case of hard core criminals. While I do agree that offenders need to be given a chance to repent and change, it should not be at the cost of security to the public.
Great – very nuanced and clear!
Would love to read the whole essay because your ideas sound very solid, Noreen!
A criminal is not born, he is made. From this view, it is seen that in some countries criminals instead of being putting behind the bars are made to do voluntary community work ,which is assured by the government bodies. I am in consumate accordance with this statement.
Good! Some odd vocabulary though – we wouldn’t say ‘consumare acocrdance’ – where did you hear that?
Well said though we don’t say ‘consumate accordance’!
Government body plays a prestige role for the development of a nation. In few countries, government seems to be helping hand for offenders that they should indulged with individual work and not to keep them in prison, whereas other disagree with this statement. From my prospective, offenders has to be in prison only. In further paragraph, I will explain in detail with some fact figures.
Good Yash but be careful of your collocations.
In English, we don’t say ‘prestige role’ or ‘frome my prospective’ for example.
In some countries, governments are making some criminals do voluntary community work rather than being put in prison.
To what extent do you agree with this?
The legal regulations in some of the countries allow convicts to perform voluntary work as an alternative to be imprisoned. This has several benefits for the criminals, as they able to receive the second chance and do good for the community. On the other hand, the safety of the public will be exposed to danger because the convicts posses various criminal records. Consequently, I believe that community services should not be allowed to those who posses a hard core criminal background.
Great!
to being, a second chance, possess criminal records and may reoffend
A bit long for a conclusion – try to get it to 3 sentences maximum. You don’t need to go into your main ideas so much there.
In many nations, the offenders of minor crimes are forced to perform some community services rather than being imprisoned. While this legislation seems to be a rather helpful way of correcting the offenders, I suppose this cannot be considered as an absolutely effective deterrent as the potential criminals, having seen the mild consequences of offenses, would not take this type of punishment seriously.
(body 1: this legislation is a helpful way
body 2: the consequences are mild and the offenders do not take the punishment seriously)
Thank you Dave
Great – love the ideas and nuanced language you use to express them – keep it up!
In some countries , instead of putting offenders in jail government is involving them in voluntary work. In my opinion, this is not the right punishment and not suitable in case of serious crimes.
Great – very clear, Priya!
Keep it up!
Some countries are becoming more creative in their correctional activities by making offenders to undertake community services instead of just keeping them locked up behind bars. It is a better way of telling the offenders that there is a good side to them which the society can assist to bring out and project. I will elaborate on this in my essay
Good work, Ibrahim!
There is a bit of over-paraphrasing but strong introduction!
In some nations, lawbreakers are forced to do unpaid social work, rather than keeping them behind the bars during their incarceration period. This trend is getting popular and has some negative and positive effects for the society, which I shall explain in the following, with some relevant examples.
Clear and simple Anoplal – keep it up!
in some nations,authorities are making offenders to work being unpaid instead of putting them behind the bars.i personally believe that although it is a good action,however,criminals could be better treated by providing opportunities to decriminalise themselves.this essay will explicate my viewpoint.
Well done – keep it up! Careful with your punctuation!
In some part of the world, it is suggested that criminal should engaged themselves in doing community service, rather than going to jail,I totally agree with this view as it help them learn a skills and reform their behavior
Great – well written!
Is some part of the world, it is suggested that criminal should engaged themselves in doing community service, rather than going to jail I totally agree with this view because it will help learn new skills and reform their behavior.
People have different opinions about the penalty and treatment of the issue of crime. Some authorities in the world believe that forcing criminals to participant in voluntary work for the community is beneficial to compare to locking them in prison. For my perspective, I agree with the method of participating in community work, especially in education for the prisoner themselves and promoting equality bonding among the neighborhood.
Grewat – your opinion is very clear, Naomi!
Instead of serving jail time for their crimes, few convicts are asked to engage in betterment of society, by the government in some nations. In my opinion, individuals should be given a chance a to learn from their mistakes, as learning also happens through trial and error in addition to other methods.
Great! Better to say ‘some convicts’, Azra!
It’s become more common every year that some countries have shown interest in making some criminals do voluntary community work rather than keeping them in jail for many years.I agree with this opinion because it may improve the criminals to become more responsible and more modest.
Thanks for commenting, Amir, I remember that question from a while back too!
lately, it was often suggested that changing prison sentence into another useful punishment, as volunteering, is more beneficial to the society. Personally, I agree that the pros of such a method, as offenders future integration in the community and respecting their humanity, outweigh the apparent bositivities of putting them into custody. I will show my reasons in this essay.
In many nations ,authorities assign the offenders for community services instead of being kept in the jail .This way of punishment is recemented and this is a positive attitude towards the criminal in terms of his rehabilitation and the stigma in the society
Great work, Celin!
As a new concept, national authorities of some particular nations, are compelling convicts to perform unpaid voluntary social service to the community, instead of keeping them behind bars and serving the jail term. In my view, by this way offenders can serve a helping hand towards the development of society. However, if not properly supervised , it can also lead to a threat among the local population.
A little long but great overall, Anu!
In some parts of the world misdemeanour criminals were compelled to contribute in voluntry work rather then incarcerated. Albeit this trend of using wrongdoers will benefit in increase number of manpower and skills they have but it is also risky to expose such criminals to people. This essay will discuss my point of view on criminals should be availed instead of sitting idle.
Good Bilal – though your usge of some words is just slightly off.
Try to use colloctions you are more sure about.
Nowadays, the government of a few countries are making criminals perform community work as their punishment, instead of putting them behind bars. I believe that criminals with minor violation of the law, should be allowed to do strict community work, which will be beneficial for the community as well as it will help to reduce the number of crimes but it should depend on case to case basis. I will explain my reasons in the following essay.
Great, Aayush!
designated community work
Nowdays we can notice a tendency, in which the governments of some countries expose the offenders to do voluntary community work, rather then put them in prison. I, personally, agree that the benefits of this actions outweigh the putting the criminals in prison, where a lot of money of the budget goes out to support criminals and has a harmful psychological effect for offenders. I will explain my rision in this reason.
In some countries, governments are making some criminals do voluntary community work rather than being put in prison.
Criminals made to do voluntary community work is a common measure applied by some governments in parts of the world. However, I don’t agree that it should be a standalone punishment, replacing imprisonment, because it’s difficult to circumspect what dangerous criminals would do making use of such situations. I will further elaborate on this in the upcoming paragraphs.
In some developed countries, some law breakers are told to carry out community service instead of going to jail. I totally disagree with this option because it makes crime offenders to commit more crimes and also makes criminal policies shallow
Judicial bodies have the power to punish and put in jail the individuals. There are various types of justice. For some people, dangerous criminals must go to prison. However, I strongly believe in community work because it has shown benefits. Indeed, the benefits are especially in the behavioural improvement of criminals, and their contribution to society.