This is an IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer based on a question from the IELTS Cambridge 12 book of previous practice tests.
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IELTS Examiner Sample Answer from Cambridge 12: Children & Choice (by Dave)
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Cambridge IELTS 12
One common area of debate among parents is the extent to which children should be trusted to make their own decisions and the potential impact this will have on their sense of responsibility. Although decision-making skills will help in some ways, I believe parents should dictate choices for children in order to make them more aware of others.
On the one hand, children who have been allowed to make their own choices will eventually develop a keen sense of responsibilty. This can be best seen in the contrasting example of helicopter parents and more liberal parents. Helicopter parents smother their children with attention and make the majority of their decisions for them. Over time, these kids will likely become dependent on their parents. If your parents always pick out your clothes then you never have to check weather forecasts, make choices about what colours match or concern yourself with trends in fashion. Later in life, these kids will not have developed any of these skills because of their parents. Contrast this with children who pick out their own clothes; they will have to consider these factors carefully and it will make them more responsible when it comes to shopping and taking care of their wardrobe.
On the other hand, I still believe that parents should make the majority of choices so that children will be more responsible towards others. For example, some parents have made the logical and ethical choice to be vegetarians and they force their children to do the same. This can have a positive effect not only on their individual health but also on the environment. Moreover, it is a learning opportunity for parents to teach their offspring about ethics. Parents can make the argument that industrial farming is inhumane and animals should be treated with more respect. This may have a carry-over effect resulting in their children growing up to be more thoughtful towards others.
In conclusion, parents should make most decisions for children to guide them to be more empathetic. They should work with teachers in their efforts to raise conscientous future citizens.
Word count: 347 (aim for under 350 words – around 300 is better!)
IELTS Examiner Sample Answer Analysis
1. One common area of debate among parents is the extent to which children should be trusted to make their own decisions and the potential impact this will have on their sense of responsibility. 2. Although decision-making skills will help in some ways, I believe parents should dictate choices for children in order to make them more aware of others.
1. My first sentence simply rephrases the question and topic. Write this sentence quickly as it is not that important.
2. The second sentence is my opinion. You do not need to include your main ideas but you do need to make your opinion 100% clear!
1. On the one hand, children who have been allowed to make their own choices will eventually develop a keen sense of responsibilty. 2. This can be best seen in the contrasting example of helicopter parents and more liberal parents. Helicopter parents smother their children with attention and make the majority of their decisions for them. 3. Over time, these kids will likely become dependent on their parents. 4. If your parents always pick out your clothes then you never have to check weather forecasts, make choices about what colours match or concern yourself with trends in fashion. 5. Later in life, these kids will not have developed any of these skills because of their parents. 6. Contrast this with children who pick out their own clothes; they will have to consider these factors carefully and it will make them more responsible when it comes to shopping and taking care of their wardrobe.
1. My first sentence is a topic sentence that explains the main idea for the paragraph (instills responsibility).
2. The second sentence begins with an example that I will develop in more detail for the rest of the paragraph. This is the best way to get a high score for task achievement on IELTS!
3. My third sentence expands on the example.
4. The fourth sentence continues the examples.
5. My fifth sentence also further develops the example. Be as specific as possible.
6. The sixth sentence concludes my example and the paragraph.
1. On the other hand, I still believe that parents should make the majority of choices so that children will be more responsible towards others. 2. For example, some parents have made the logical and ethical choice to be vegetarians and they force their children to do the same. 3. This can have a positive effect not only on their individual health but also on the environment. 4. Moreover, it is a learning opportunity for parents to teach their offspring about ethics. 5. Parents can make the argument that industrial farming is inhumane and animals should be treated with more respect. 6. This may have a carry-over effect resulting in their children growing up to be more thoughtful towards others.
1. My first sentence is a topic sentence saying that parents making choices will make their kids more responsible for others.
2. The second sentence again begins my example right away – don’t waste time getting to your example.
3. My third sentence explains why this has a positive effect on others.
4. My fourth sentence also continues the same example.
5. The fifth sentence gives more detail for this example.
6. The last sentence makes the example slightly more general and concludes the paragraph.
1. In conclusion, parents should make most decisions for children to guide them to be more empathetic. 2. They should work with teachers in their efforts to raise conscientous future citizens.
1. My first sentence repeats my opinion. Do this or get IELTS band 5 for task achievement!
2. The second sentence adds an extra detail because some IELTS examiners require this for band 7+.
Sample Answer Vocabulary
What do the phrases highlighted below mean in your own words? Is there a direct translation in your language?
One common area of debate among parents is the extent to which children should be trusted to make their own decisions and the potential impact this will have on their sense of responsibility. Although decision-making skills will help in some ways, I believe parents should dictate choices for children in order to make them more aware of others.
On the one hand, children who have been allowed to make their own choices will eventually develop a keen sense of responsibilty. This can be best seen in the contrasting example of helicopter parents and more liberal parents. Helicopter parents smother their children with attention and make the majority of their decisions for them. Over time, these kids will likely become dependent on their parents. If your parents always pick out your clothes then you never have to check weather forecasts, make choices about what colours match or concern yourself with trends in fashion. Later in life, these kids will not have developed any of these skills because of their parents. Contrast this with children who pick out their own clothes; they will have to consider these factors carefully and it will make them more responsible when it comes to shopping and taking care of their wardrobe.
On the other hand, I still believe that parents should make the majority of choices so that children will be more responsible towards others. For example, some parents have made the logical and ethical choice to be vegetarians and they force their children to do the same. This can have a positive effect not only on their individual health but also on the environment. Moreover, it is a learning opportunity for parents to teach their offspring about ethics. Parents can make the argument that industrial farming is inhumane and animals should be treated with more respect. This may have a carry-over effect resulting in their children growing up to be more thoughtful towards others.
In conclusion, parents should make most decisions for children to guide them to be more empathetic. They should work with teachers in their efforts to raise conscientous future citizens.
Answers
debate argument
extent the level at which/the degree to which/how much
potential impact possible effect
sense of responsibility feeling that you are obligated
decision-making skills skills to make good choices
dictate decide/mandate
aware know about
keen sense good sense
contrasting example counterexample
helicopter parents controlling parents
liberal free and open
smother pay too much attention too
dependent need/rely on
pick out choose/decide on
weather forecasts the weather for the day/next day
colours match colours that go well together
concern yourself worry/think about
contrast this compare with with
factors elements
taking care of looking after
majority most of
logical rational
ethical moral
vegetarians not eating meat
learning opportunity good chance to learn something
offspring children
ethics morality
make the argument argue
industrial farming farming on a mass scale
inhumane cruel
treated how they are handled
respect with dignity and care
carry-over effect another result
thoughtful conscientous
empathetic understanding the feelings of others
conscientous thoughtful
Pronunciation
dɪˈbeɪt
ɪksˈtɛnt
pəʊˈtɛnʃəl ˈɪmpækt
sɛns ɒv rɪsˌpɒnsəˈbɪlɪti
dɪˈsɪʒən-ˈmeɪkɪŋ skɪlz
ˈdɪkteɪt
əˈweə
kiːn sɛns
kənˈtrɑːstɪŋ ɪgˈzɑːmpl
ˈhɛlɪkɒptə ˈpeərənts
ˈlɪbərəl
ˈsmʌðə
dɪˈpɛndənt
pɪk aʊt
ˈwɛðə ˈfɔːkɑːsts
ˈkʌləz mæʧ
kənˈsɜːn jɔːˈsɛlf
ˈkɒntrɑːst ðɪs
ˈfæktəz
ˈteɪkɪŋ keər ɒv
məˈʤɒrɪti
ˈlɒʤɪkəl
ˈɛθɪkəl
ˌvɛʤɪˈteərɪənz
ˈlɜːnɪŋ ˌɒpəˈtjuːnɪti
ˈɒfsprɪŋ
ˈɛθɪks
meɪk ði ˈɑːgjʊmənt
ɪnˈdʌstrɪəl ˈfɑːmɪŋ
ˌɪnhju(ː)ˈmeɪn
ˈtriːtɪd
rɪsˈpɛkt
ˈkærɪˌəʊvər ɪˈfɛkt
θɔːtfʊl
ˈɛmpə θɛtɪk
ˈkɒnsi:entʃəs
Vocabulary Practice
One common area of ____________ among parents is the ____________ to which children should be trusted to make their own decisions and the ____________ this will have on their ____________ . Although ____________ will help in some ways, I believe parents should ____________ choices for children in order to make them more ____________ of others.
On the one hand, children who have been allowed to make their own choices will eventually develop a ____________ of responsibilty. This can be best seen in the ____________ of ____________ and more ____________ parents. Helicopter parents ____________ their children with attention and make the majority of their decisions for them. Over time, these kids will likely become ____________ on their parents. If your parents always ____________ your clothes then you never have to check ____________, make choices about what ____________ or ____________ with trends in fashion. Later in life, these kids will not have developed any of these skills because of their parents. ____________ with children who pick out their own clothes; they will have to consider these ____________ carefully and it will make them more responsible when it comes to shopping and ____________ their wardrobe.
On the other hand, I still believe that parents should make the ____________ of choices so that children will be more responsible towards others. For example, some parents have made the ____________ and ____________ choice to be ____________ and they force their children to do the same. This can have a positive effect not only on their individual health but also on the environment. Moreover, it is a ____________ for parents to teach their ____________ about ____________ . Parents can ____________ that ____________ is ____________ and animals should be ____________ with more ____________. This may have a ____________ resulting in their children growing up to be more ____________ towards others.
In conclusion, parents should make most decisions for children to guide them to be more ____________ . They should work with teachers in their efforts to raise ____________ future citizens.
Links
Here are some activities you can use to improve your listening while watching the video: Improve your Listening.
Read the article below to review some of the ideas and vocbulary from my sample answer. Here are the keys to improving your reading!
Hi Dave,
Thank you so much for such a great source of reference. However, I can’t help but notice you use the word ‘kid’ which is considered informal in your essay. Can IELTS candidates use ‘kid’ in their writing? Thank you!
Yes, I think that is fine. In general, you are correct but in the context of the writing a work like ‘kid’ which is on the border between formal and informal is alright as long as you are not using it continually – great question!
Thank you! look forward to more model answers from you soon.
Thanks a lot for the support!
Hi Dave,
So for really specific questions like this one, do you have to address all the ideas mentioned in the prompt (food, clothes, entertainment)? If you do not include these, do you lose marks for Task Response?
That’s a great question! Sometimes you do. For example, if it said children should be allowed to choose the food and clothes they like. To what extent do you agree? But this one says ‘such as’ so you do not have to mention any of them if you don’t want – they are just suggestions! Is that clear?
Hlo thank you sir
You’re welcome!
Hi Dave,
The question said “… allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.”, but you didn’t mention that possible outcome in your essay. Is that okay?
Anyway, your blog is really helpful. Thanks a lot!
Yes, you are correct that I could address it more directly but my third paragraph deals with why having parents make more decisions will make them less self-centred.
Hi Dave
One doubt, the topic demands us to write both views + our opinion. But you have mentioned one side and third para as ur opinion. Is this fine ? Or should we keep 5 paragraphs which includes two sides and one para on opinion
Thanks for sharing this essay with us.
Thanks
Manpreet Singh from India.
Dave has died
Haha, just been busy but will get to questions and a lot of updates this week on the blog and my Patreon!
I wrote about both sides in this one, as the question asked…
well this writing is mainly correct but I don’t agree in someway
well this writing is mainly correct but I don’t agree in someway
Which part do you disagree with, Hien?
Will this answer get a 9 band ?
All my answers will, Ansh!