This is an IELTS writing task 2 sample answer essay on the topic of rewarding students for success from the real IELTS exam.
It’s an interesting topic and I had a lot of fun writing about it!
My structure is a little bit different from my normal essays – it is fine to write with a different structure if you are fully supporting your main ideas.
Read below to see how it is different.
Be sure to sign up for on Patreon.com/HowtodoIELTS for my exclusive Ebooks and other materials!
Dave
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Essay General Training: Rewarding Success
Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behaviour).
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Real Past IELTS Exam
It is common to reward students for their academic success but many today believe schools should also recognise other areas of excellence such as athletics and behaviour. In my opinion, rewarding academic results is more important as it is a powerful motivator and should not be replicated for other pursuits.
Rewarding academic success is part of an historic system of control. The purpose is self-evident: to psychologically compel continued positive results. For example, in many East Asian countries such as Vietnam where good marks are highly valued, it is not uncommon for parents to offer financial incentives to students, schools to regularly hand out certificates of excellence, and teachers to highlight individuals for praise. All these distinctions are powerful extrinsic motivators that draw students away from the, often monotonous, subject being studied itself to monetary gains, public recognition and the esteem of one’s teachers, respectively. This effectively exploits basic desires for respect and reinforces a pattern of academic excellence.
However, despite the benefits listed above, other types of activities contain their own rewards already. A student who behaves well in class will typically earn the appreciation of teachers or simply do it out of their natural temperament and therefore not require compensation. Students with athletic prowess enjoy the reverence of their peers and the sports themselves. These built-in rewards apply to a variety of fields of success outside traditional school subjects. In fact, rewarding behaviours that students already enjoy doing in themselves might actually hinder motivation. Students could potentially become more focused on the reward than the experience itself and an intrinsic drive will become extrinsic, ironically now requiring tangible reinforcement to continue.
In conclusion, rewarding academics is a proven method of reinforcement that could have the opposite effect of decreasing intrinsic motivation when applied to other areas. Teachers and parents should be wary of the subtle difference between encouraging children and establishing a near-Pavlovian relationship.
Analysis
1. It is common to reward students for their academic success but many today believe schools should also recognise other areas of excellence such as athletics and behaviour. 2. In my opinion, rewarding academic results is more important as it is a powerful motivator and should not be replicated for other pursuits.
- Paraphrase the overall topic.
- Answer the question with a direct opinion.
1. Rewarding academic success is part of an historic system of control. 2. The purpose is self-evident: to psychologically compel continued positive results. 3. For example, in many East Asian countries such as Vietnam where good marks are highly valued, it is not uncommon for parents to offer financial incentives to students, schools to regularly hand out certificates of excellence, and teachers to highlight individuals for praise. 4. All these distinctions are powerful extrinsic motivators that draw students away from the, often monotonous, subject being studied itself to monetary gains, public recognition and the esteem of one’s teachers, respectively. 5. This effectively exploits basic desires for respect and reinforces a pattern of academic excellence.
- Write a clear topic sentence. In this essay, I first argue that academic rewards are positive in this paragraph. The next paragraph focuses on why they would not be positive for other areas. Typically these paragraphs would be switched but in this essay I felt the next paragraph is a stronger argument so that is why I put them in this order.
- Explain your main idea, if necessary.
- Give a specific example.
- Develop your example.
- Conclude your paragraph by generalising.
1. However, despite the benefits listed above, other types of activities contain their own rewards already. 2. A student who behaves well in class will typically earn the appreciation of teachers or simply do it out of their natural temperament and therefore not require compensation. 3. Students with athletic prowess enjoy the reverence of their peers and the sports themselves. 4. These built-in rewards apply to a variety of fields of success outside traditional school subjects. 5. In fact, rewarding behaviours that students already enjoy doing in themselves might actually hinder motivation. 6. Students could potentially become more focused on the reward than the experience itself and an intrinsic drive will become extrinsic, ironically now requiring tangible reinforcement to continue.
- Write a new topic sentence with another main idea at the end.
- Begin a hypothetical example.
- Here I shift to a related example.
- Then I generalise to other examples.
- Finally, I explain the importance of these example.
- I conclude my paragraph with a strong statement and the final results of my opinion.
1. In conclusion, rewarding academics is a proven method of reinforcement that could have the opposite effect of decreasing intrinsic motivation when applied to other areas. 2. Teachers and parents should be wary of the subtle difference between encouraging children and establishing a near-Pavlovian relationship.
- Repeat your opinion clearly.
- Add in an extra detail or finish summarising your opinion.
Vocabulary
What do the words in bold below mean? Try to figure out the meaning from the sentence and then check below:
It is common to reward students for their academic success but many today believe schools should also recognise other areas of excellence such as athletics and behaviour. In my opinion, rewarding academic results is more important as it is a powerful motivator and should not be replicated for other pursuits.
Rewarding academic success is part of an historic system of control. The purpose is self-evident: to psychologically compel continued positive results. For example, in many East Asian countries such as Vietnam where good marks are highly valued, it is not uncommon for parents to offer financial incentives to students, schools to regularly hand out certificates of excellence, and teachers to highlight individuals for praise. All these distinctions are powerful extrinsic motivators that draw students away from the, often monotonous, subject being studied itself to monetary gains, public recognition and the esteem of one’s teachers, respectively. This effectively exploits basic desires for respect and reinforces a pattern of academic excellence.
However, despite the benefits listed above, other types of activities contain their own rewards already. A student who behaves well in class will typically earn the appreciation of teachers or simply do it out of their natural temperament and therefore not require compensation. Students with athletic prowess enjoy the reverence of their peers and the sports themselves. These built-in rewards apply to a variety of fields of success outside traditional school subjects. In fact, rewarding behaviours that students already enjoy doing in themselves might actually hinder motivation. Students could potentially become more focused on the reward than the experience itself and an intrinsic drive will become extrinsic, ironically now requiring tangible reinforcement to continue.
In conclusion, rewarding academics is a proven method of reinforcement that could have the opposite effect of decreasing intrinsic motivation when applied to other areas. Teachers and parents should be wary of the subtle difference between encouraging children and establishing a near-Pavlovian relationship.
Answers
common all around
reward students give something to students in appreciation
academic success doing well in school subjects
recognise acknowledge
excellence doing really well
athletics sports
behaviour how you act in class
powerful motivator good source of motivation
replicated repeated
pursuits areas
historic system of control been used a long time to enforce behaviour
self-evident needs no explanation
psychologically compel force to do
continued positive results keep getting good marks
highly valued very important
not uncommon common
financial incentives money
regularly hand out certificates of excellence give awards
highlight individuals for praise single out students to say they did well
distinctions separations, elevations
powerful extrinsic motivators something outside the activity itself that makes you want to do it
draw take from
often monotonous usually boring
monetary gains financial incentives
public recognition respect of others
esteem of one’s teachers admiration from teachers
respectively in turn
effectively exploits basic desires does a good job taking advantage of human psychology
reinforces supports
pattern trend
despite the benefits listed above regardless of the mentioned advantages
contain have within them
behaves well in class a good student, not naughty
earn gain
appreciation reverence
natural temperament your personality
compensation getting something back
athletic prowess ability with sports
reverence admiration
peers other students
built-in already there
outside traditional school subjects not just what you study in school
hinder hold back
potentially possible
more focused care more about
experience itself the activity in itself
intrinsic drive not for outside rewards
extrinsic for outside rewards
ironically coincidentally
tangible reinforcement physical reward
proven method working way of doing something
opposite effect reverse impact
applied to other areas transferred to non-academics
wary careful of
subtle difference hard to see distinction
encouraging children praising kids
establishing a near-Pavlovian relationship making them require your praise/reinforcement
Pronunciation
Listen and repeat:
ˈkɒmən
rɪˈwɔːd ˈstjuːdənts
ˌækəˈdɛmɪk səkˈsɛs
ˈrɛkəgnaɪz
ˈɛksələns
æθˈlɛtɪks
bɪˈheɪvjə
ˈpaʊəfʊl ˈməʊtɪveɪtə
ˈrɛplɪkeɪtɪd
pəˈsjuːts
hɪsˈtɒrɪk ˈsɪstɪm ɒv kənˈtrəʊl
sɛlf-ˈɛvɪdənt
ˌsaɪkəˈlɒʤɪkəli kəmˈpɛl
kənˈtɪnju(ː)d ˈpɒzətɪv rɪˈzʌlts
ˈhaɪli ˈvæljuːd
nɒt ʌnˈkɒmən
faɪˈnænʃəl ɪnˈsɛntɪvz
ˈrɛgjʊləli hænd aʊt səˈtɪfɪkɪts ɒv ˈɛksələns
ˈhaɪˌlaɪt ˌɪndɪˈvɪdjʊəlz fɔː preɪz
dɪsˈtɪŋkʃənz
ˈpaʊəfʊl ɛksˈtrɪnsɪk ˈməʊtɪveɪtəz
drɔː
ˈɒf(ə)n məˈnɒtnəs
ˈmʌnɪtəri geɪnz
ˈpʌblɪk ˌrɛkəgˈnɪʃən
ɪsˈtiːm ɒv wʌnz ˈtiːʧəz
rɪsˈpɛktɪvli
ɪˈfɛktɪvli ˈɛksplɔɪts ˈbeɪsɪk dɪˈzaɪəz
ˌriːɪnˈfɔːsɪz
ˈpætən
dɪsˈpaɪt ðə ˈbɛnɪfɪts ˈlɪstɪd əˈbʌv
kənˈteɪn
bɪˈheɪvz wɛl ɪn klɑːs
ɜːn
əˌpriːʃɪˈeɪʃ(ə)n
ˈnæʧrəl ˈtɛmpərəmənt
ˌkɒmpɛnˈseɪʃən
æθˈlɛtɪk ˈpraʊɪs
ˈrəvərəns
pɪəz
ˈbɪltˈɪn
ˌaʊtˈsaɪd trəˈdɪʃənl skuːl ˈsʌbʤɪkts
ˈhaɪndə
pəʊˈtɛnʃəli
mɔː ˈfəʊkəst
ɪksˈpɪərɪəns ɪtˈsɛlf
ɪnˈtrɪnsɪk draɪv
ɛksˈtrɪnsɪk
aɪˈrɒnɪkəli
ˈtænʤəbl ˌriːɪnˈfɔːsmənt
ˈpruːvən ˈmɛθəd
ˈɒpəzɪt ɪˈfɛkt
əˈplaɪd tuː ˈʌðər ˈeərɪəz
ˈweəri
ˈsʌtl ˈdɪfrəns
ɪnˈkʌrɪʤɪŋ ˈʧɪldrən
ɪsˈtæblɪʃɪŋ ə nɪə-ˈpævlɒviːˈɛn rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp
Vocabulary Practice
Remember and fill in the blanks:
It is c____________n to r_________________s for their a__________________s but many today believe schools should also r___________e other areas of e_____________e such as a______________s and b________________r. In my opinion, rewarding academic results is more important as it is a p__________________________r and should not be r_____________d for other p____________s.
Rewarding academic success is part of an h______________________________l. The purpose is s________________t: to p___________________________l c_________________________s. For example, in many East Asian countries such as Vietnam where good marks are h_________________d, it is n__________________n for parents to offer f__________________s to students, schools to r___________________________________________e, and teachers to h_____________________________________e. All these d________________s are p_____________________s that d_____w students away from the, o______________________s, subject being studied itself to m_________________s, p_____________________n and the e_______________________s, r________________y. This e_______________________________s for respect and r_____________s a p____________n of academic excellence.
However, d_______________________________e, other types of activities c__________n their own rewards already. A student who b________________________s will typically e________n the a_________________n of teachers or simply do it out of their n______________________t and therefore not require c_____________________n. Students with a____________________s enjoy the r_________________e of their p________s and the sports themselves. These b__________n rewards apply to a variety of fields of success o_______________________________s. In fact, rewarding behaviours that students already enjoy doing in themselves might actually h__________r motivation. Students could p_______________y become m________________d on the reward than the e__________________f and an i______________e will become e_____________c, i______________y now requiring t___________________________t to continue.
In conclusion, rewarding academics is a p_________________d of reinforcement that could have the o_______________t of decreasing intrinsic motivation when a______________________s. Teachers and parents should be w________y of the s_____________________e between e_______________________n and e_______________________________________p.
Listen and check:
Listening Practice
Watch a well-known animation related to this topic:
Reading Practice
Read more about this topic here:
Speaking Practice
Practice speaking with the real questions from IELTS speaking below:
Studying
Are you studying or working?
Do you prefer to learn in the morning or in the evening?
What subject do like to study best?
Real IELTS Speaking Exam
Writing Practice
Write about the following topic from the exam and then check with my sample answer below:
Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Real Past IELTS Exam
Many people argue that excellent academic performers should be rewarded in a school while some argue that students who are advanced in other activities, for example, sports, music, and extracurricular are ought to be acclaimed. In my opinion, academic excellence is crucial for pupils in their education and professional journey whereas extracurricular practices are also equally vital for a balanced life.
On the one hand, students must be diligent in learning at schools and usually, they dedicate their leisure time to become excel in cerebral subjects like mathematics and science. It is a compelling fact that those industrious students should be extolled for their immense determination and hard work while this can also indirectly encourage other students who have an alacrity on surging their academic grades for better recognition. Those rewarded students become cogent exemplary characters in the school and can adherent others to be outstanding in academics. Hence, these awarding systems are explicitly acceptable.
On the other hand, many scholars have maintained the paramountcy of taking part in extra-academic events, namely physical games and sports, aesthetic exercises, and so on. These practices conspicuously advocate students to improve the qualities such as, team-work, placatory behavior, determination, and respect to each other, which also assists them to develop a robust personality starting from the early stage in their lives. Furthermore, these obviously support children to grow their professional demeanors, punctuality, and decorum and these qualities are significant when they corporate as adults for a well-disciplined society in the future. Therefore, the school rewarding principles should pay huge attention to these paragons in various aspects as they are equally worthy to be commended.
In conclusion, I believe that academic achievements are essential for students to achieve their future professional goals whereas extracurricular activities and admirable behaviors assist them to be great citizens. Therefore, both should be impartially lauded since well-balanced humans are crucial for an effective society.
What do you think about this?
Thanking you in advance 🙂
Well written Priya!
Unfortunately, I don’t have time to check writing this week but you can sign up for some corrections here: course.howtodoielts.com/band-scores-corrections
Keep up the the good effort!
Thank you Dave. I understand. 🙂
I will follow your writing for more improvements. This is the best I found <3
I appreciate that!