Before you read the sample answer, you can improve your listening by playing the audio before and taking some notes on the keywords/ideas and then reading the sample essay:
Sample Answer Essay: Income Inequality
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer: Income Inequality (Real Past IELTS Test/Exam)
Many believe that the best way to ensure a happier society is to reduce the difference in income earnings between the rich and poor.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Real Past IELTS Exam/Test
Class distinctions are an intrinsic element of human relations but many today worry over the drastically widening gap between rich and poor. In my opinion, in order to have a happy society there must be a more equal distribution of income.
The main reason that these economic reforms would make society happier is by diffusing personal frustrations. The less wealthy often feel resentful and insecure about their place in life. This has a number of symptoms ranging from relatively benign unhappiness to deep depression, and takes a collective toll on individuals, families and societies. In the most extreme examples, mass shootings in the United States are invariably undertaken by poor, white males who feel left behind economically. The net impact of lifting people out of poverty would be a boon to everyday families as well as society at large.
Furthermore, if people no longer had to stress and work themselves to the bone to make ends meet, new outlets to contribute more to society would open up. They could volunteer for a charity, if they have an altruistic bent, take up an art, spend more time being a dedicated family member, or even set aside time to try to innovate in their vocation. Small-scale parallels for this exist already in the form of scholarships given to underprivileged students who are then able to get degrees and contribute across a variety of disciplines to making society happier in general.
In conclusion, there is little doubt that in the 21st century income inequality has reached a level that causes extreme unrest among the general population and distributing capital more evenly would remedy this. Countries ought to look closely at recent proposals for a universal basic income.
Analysis
1. Class distinctions are an intrinsic element of human relations but many today worry over the drastically widening gap between rich and poor. 2. In my opinion, in order to have a happy society there must be a more equal distribution of income.
Paraphrase the overall topic for the essay first of all.
Then include your overall opinion – make it 100% clear.
1. The main reason that these economic reforms would make society happier is by diffusing personal frustrations. 2. The less wealthy often feel resentful and insecure about their place in life. 3. This has a number of symptoms ranging from relatively benign unhappiness to deep depression, and takes a collective toll on individuals, families and societies. 4. In the most extreme examples, mass shootings in the United States are invariably undertaken by poor, white males who feel left behind economically. 5. The net impact of lifting people out of poverty would be a boon to everyday families as well as society at large.
Write a topic sentence with a relevant main idea at the end of the sentence.
Begin to explain/develop your main idea.
Continue developing with as much specific detail as possible.
Include a specific example if possible.
Describe the effect/result of your main idea.
1. Furthermore, if people no longer had to stress and work themselves to the bone to make ends meet, new outlets to contribute more to society would open up. 2. They could volunteer for a charity, if they have an altruistic bent, take up an art, spend more time being a dedicated family member, or even set aside time to try to innovate in their vocation. 3. Small-scale parallels for this exist already in the form of scholarships given to underprivileged students who are then able to get degrees and contribute across a variety of disciplines to making society happier in general.
Write a new topic sentence. My topic sentence here is a little too long – try to write a shorter, simpler topic sentence.
Again include specific examples – the more specific, the better!
Here I use a comparative example to support my main idea. This paragraph is only 3 sentences, aim for 4-5 in your own writing.
1. In conclusion, there is little doubt that in the 21st century income inequality has reached a level that causes extreme unrest among the general population and distributing capital more evenly would remedy this. 2. Countries ought to look closely at recent proposals for a universal basic income.
Repeat your opinion and include some strong vocabulary/grammar at the end.
Add in a final thought or extra detail to get full points for task achievement from the IELTS examiner.
Vocabulary
Try to figure out what the words in bold below mean:
Class distinctions are an intrinsic element of human relations but many today worry over the drastically widening gap between rich and poor. In my opinion, in order to have a happy society there must be a more equal distribution of income.
The main reason that these economic reforms would make society happier is by diffusing personal frustrations. The less wealthy often feel resentful and insecure about their place in life. This has a number of symptoms ranging from relatively benign unhappiness to deep depression, and takes a collective toll on individuals, families and societies. In the most extreme examples, mass shootings in the United States are invariably undertaken by poor, white males who feel left behind economically. The net impact of lifting people out of poverty would be a boon to everyday families as well as society at large.
Furthermore, if people no longer had to stress and work themselves to the bone to make ends meet, new outlets to contribute more to society would open up. They could volunteer for a charity, if they have an altruistic bent, take up an art, spend more time being a dedicated family member, or even set aside time to try to innovate in their vocation. Small-scale parallels for this exist already in the form of scholarships given to underprivileged students who are then able to get degrees and contribute across a variety of disciplines to making society happier in general.
In conclusion, there is little doubt that in the 21st century income inequality has reached a level that causes extreme unrest among the general population and distributing capital more evenly would remedy this. Countries ought to look closely at recent proposals for a universal basic income.
Answers
class distinctions different levels of wealth
intrinsic element innate part
human relations human society
drastically widening gap getting larger very quickly
more equal distribution of income less disparity in wages
economic reforms changes to the economy
diffusing personal frustrations lessening the impact of annoyance with yourself
resentful anger towards others
insecure lacking confidence
place in life standing in life
symptoms results
relatively benign unhappiness comparatively not harmful feeling bad
deep depression feeling very sad
collective toll total drawbacks on everyone
most extreme examples outliers
mass shootings when lots of people get shot
invariably always
left behind economically stranded financially
net impact total effect
lifting people out of poverty helping poor people get richer
boon benefit
society at large all of society
work themselves to the bone to make ends meet work really hard to make enough money
new outlets novel avenues for
open up allow for
altruistic bent care about others over yourself
take up begin doing
dedicated passionate about
set aside time have free time to
innovate implement new ideas
vocation job
small-scale parallels comparisions
scholarships money to study
underprivileged poor
disciplines fields
extreme unrest strong discontent
distributing capital more evenly spreading money equally
______________ are an ______________ of ______________ but many today worry over the ______________ between rich and poor. In my opinion, in order to have a happy society there must be a ______________.
The main reason that these ______________ would make society happier is by ______________. The less wealthy often feel ______________ and ______________ about their ______________. This has a number of ______________ ranging from ______________ to ______________, and takes a ______________ on individuals, families and societies. In the ______________, ______________ in the United States are ______________ undertaken by poor, white males who feel ______________. The ______________ of ______________ would be a ______________to everyday families as well as ______________.
Furthermore, if people no longer had to stress and ______________, ______________ to contribute more to society would ______________. They could volunteer for a charity, if they have an ______________, ______________ an art, spend more time being a ______________ family member, or even ______________ to try to ______________ in their ______________. ______________ for this exist already in the form of ______________ given to ______________ students who are then able to get degrees and contribute across a variety of ______________ to making society happier in general.
In conclusion, there is little doubt that in the 21st century income inequality has reached a level that causes ______________ among the general population and ______________ would this. Countries ought to look closely at ______________ for a ______________.
Listen and check:
Listening Practice
Obama’s an expert!Review the topic of income inequality with the video below:
Before you read, you can practice your listening skills with the audio file below – take some notes on my ideas and vocabulary then check with the sample answer:
Many people feel that students should learn from online materials while others feel that it is better to use printed materials.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Real Past IELTS Tests
There have been recent calls for schools to phase out printed materials and take better advantage of online resources. Although printed materials enable important cognitive returns, schools should adopt online materials almost exclusively to protect the environment.
Printed materials encourage children to develop good thinking habits. Children and teenagers will of course spend an outsized amount of time on the internet, through smartphones and computers, as they grow up. This not only impacts their attention span and brain chemistry but also makes them susceptible to worryingly unreliable online information. Printed materials, on the other hand, are written by well-regarded authors, thoroughly researched, and students cannot get distracted by the lures of the internet while reading a physical book.
Nonetheless, online materials present an opportunity to protect the world’s trees at a time when they are under great threat. Take the typical lifecyle of a school’s coursebooks for example. Hundreds of students in a single grade are given a dozen books for various subjects every year. The books tend to be reused for several years but they later must be replaced with newer editions, necessitating more trees be cut down. Using online materials does not entail the same level of environmental costs. Textbooks can be easily updated and no trees have to be chopped down to create the devices in the first place. Over time, this will have a dramatic impact on tree populations around the globe and help mitigate the looming damage of climate change.
In conclusion, administrators should make every effort to replace the outdated medium of paper with their electronic equivalent. This is merely one step, but a still crucial one, in saving the earth from imminent catastrophe.
Analysis
1. There have been recent calls for schools to phase out printed materials and take better advantage of online resources. 2. Although printed materials enable important cognitive returns, schools should adopt online materials almost exclusively to protect the environment.
Write the topic for the whole essay.
Give your opinion – make it 100% clear.
1. Printed materials encourage children to develop good thinking habits. 2. Children and teenagers will of course spend an outsized amount of time on the internet, through smartphones and computers, as they grow up. 3. This not only impacts their attention span and brain chemistry but also makes them susceptible to worryingly unreliable online information. 4. Printed materials, on the other hand, are written by well-regarded authors, thoroughly researched, and students cannot get distracted by the lures of the internet while reading a physical book.
Write a topic sentence with the main idea at the end of the sentence.
Begin to develop your main idea with specific examples/support.
Continue with the same main idea. Don’t switch. Develop it specifically.
Draw conclusions/conclude your paragraph.
1. Nonetheless, online materials present an opportunity to protect the world’s trees at a time when they are under great threat. 2. Take the typical lifecyle of a school’s coursebooks for example. 3. Hundreds of students in a single grade are given a dozen books for various subjects every year. 4. The books tend to be reused for several years but they later must be replaced with newer editions, necessitating more trees be cut down. 5. Using online materials does not entail the same level of environmental costs. 6. Textbooks can be easily updated and no trees have to be chopped down to create the devices in the first place. 7. Over time, this will have a dramatic impact on tree populations around the globe and help mitigate the looming damage of climate change.
Write another topic sentence with a new main idea.
Begin a specfic example.
Start developing the example.
Add as much detail to your example as possible.
I compare the example of physical books with online ones in this sentence.
The more detail the better!
Conclude your paragraph by talking about the result and tieing it back to your main idea.
1. In conclusion, administrators should make every effort to replace the outdated medium of paper with their electronic equivalent. 2. This is merely one step, but a still crucial one, in saving the earth from imminent catastrophe.
Repeat your opinion.
Add an extra detail/final thought.
Vocabulary
Figure out what the words in bold below mean:
There have been recent calls for schools to phase out printed materials and take better advantage of online resources. Although printed materials enable important cognitive returns, schools should adopt online materials almost exclusively to protect the environment.
Printed materials encourage children to develop good thinking habits. Children and teenagers will of course spend an outsized amount of time on the internet, through smartphones and computers, as they grow up. This not only impacts their attention span and brain chemistry but also makes them susceptible to worryingly unreliable online information. Printed materials, on the other hand, are written by well-regarded authors, thoroughly researched, and students cannot get distracted by the lures of the internet while reading a physical book.
Nonetheless, online materials present an opportunity to protect the world’s trees at a time when they are under great threat. Take the typical lifecyle of a school’s coursebooks for example. Hundreds of students in a single grade are given a dozen books for various subjects every year. The books tend to be reused for several years but they later must be replaced with newer editions, necessitating more trees be cut down. Using online materials does not entail the same level of environmental costs. Textbooks can be easily updated and no trees have to be chopped down to create the devices in the first place. Over time, this will have a dramatic impact on tree populations around the globe and help mitigate the looming damage of climate change.
In conclusion, administrators should make every effort to replace the outdated medium of paper with their electronic equivalent. This is merely one step, but a still crucial one, in saving the earth from imminent catastrophe.
Answers
recent calls demands
phase out get rid of
take better advantage use more often
enable allow for/encourage
cognitive returns benefits for the brain
adopt begin to use
exclusively entirely
outsized too large
attention span the amount of time you can focus on one thing
There have been ______________ for schools to ______________ printed materials and ______________ of online resources. Although printed materials ______________ important ______________, schools should ______________ online materials almost ______________ to protect the environment.
Printed materials encourage children to develop good thinking habits. Children and teenagers will of course spend an ______________ amount of time on the internet, through smartphones and computers, as they grow up. This not only impacts their ______________ and ______________ but also makes them ______________ to ______________ online information. Printed materials, ______________, are written by ______________, ______________, and students cannot get ______________ by the ______________ of the internet while reading a physical book.
______________, online materials ______________ to protect the world’s trees at a time when they are ______________. Take the typical ______________ of a school’s coursebooks for example. Hundreds of students in a single ______________ are given a ______________ books for various subjects every year. The books tend to be ______________ for several years but they later must be replaced with ______________, ______________ more trees be ______________. Using online materials does not ______________ the same level of environmental costs. Textbooks can be easily updated and no trees have to be ______________ to create the devices ______________. Over time, this will have a dramatic impact on tree populations around the globe and help ______________ the ______________ of climate change.
In conclusion, ______________ should ______________ to replace the ______________ with their ______________. This is ______________ one step, but a still ______________ one, in saving the earth from ______________.
Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Real Past IELTS Tests
The increasing popularity of so-called extreme sports such as base jumping and rock climbing have led to backlash calling for them to be banned. Although these sports are potentially fatal, they should not be banned as they are also fun and can be undertaken responsibly.
The reason that many have demanded limits on extreme sports is their potential for injury and death. Take for example one of the most notorious extreme sports: base jumping. In this sport, participants jump off a given point (a cliff or building, for example) with a parachute. There is very little time before they hit the ground so unforeseen parachute malfunctions are possible and the fatality rate is extremely high. Those that do not die may suffer severe, debilitating injuries such as paralysis and brain damage. Base jumping is something of an outlier on the spectrum of dangerous sports but all these sports involve varying degrees of danger.
Despite the aforementioned concerns, I believe the fun people have outweighs potential injury when they are cautious. Base jumping is the most perilous extreme sport but other sports such as skiing, deep-sea diving, and rock climbing are relatively safe. Rock climbing is a good example of a sport that can be very safe and fun if proper precautions are taken. You should sign up for training and go with someone who knows how to safely rig up the harness and tie the requisite knots. Many people who try it end up become passionate rock climbers because it is an exhilirating experience. Most extreme sports, taken seriously, present little real danger and are an enjoyable pasttime.
In conclusion, extreme sports are fun and do not have to be particularly dangerous. People should take the opportunity to responsibly try out at least one extreme sport in their lives in order to see if it is to their liking.
Analysis
1. The increasing popularity of so-called extreme sports such as base jumping and rock climbing have led to backlash calling for them to be banned. 2. Although these sports are potentially fatal, they should not be banned as they are also fun and can be undertaken responsibly.
Paraphrase the overall topic – don’t spend too much time on this simple sentence.
Give your opinion and make it clear.
1. The reason that many have demanded limits on extreme sports is their potential for injury and death. 2. Take for example one of the most notorious extreme sports: base jumping. 3. In this sport, participants jump off a given point (a cliff or building, for example) with a parachute. 4. There is very little time before they hit the ground so unforeseen parachute malfunctions are possible and the fatality rate is extremely high. 5. Those that do not die may suffer severe, debilitating injuries such as paralysis and brain damage. 6. Base jumping is something of an outlier on the spectrum of dangerous sports but all these sports involve varying degrees of danger.
Write about the other side first.
Begin your example for your main idea right away.
Develop the same example.
Keep developing it, don’t switch to a new example.
Add as much detail as you can to you example.
Generalise from your example with your last sentence.
1. Despite the aforementioned concerns, I believe the fun people have outweighs potential injury when they are cautious. 2. Base jumping is the most perilous extreme sport but other sports such as skiing, deep-sea diving, and rock climbing are relatively safe. 3. Rock climbing is a good example of a sport that can be very safe and fun if proper precautions are taken. 4. You should sign up for training and go with someone who knows how to safely rig up the harness and tie the requisite knots. 5. Many people who try it end up become passionate rock climbers because it is an exhilirating experience. 6. Most extreme sports, taken seriously, present little real danger and are an enjoyable pasttime.
Talk about the side that you agree with in your third paragraph.
Focus on a different example.
Develop your new example.
The more specific the details you include, the higher your task achievement and vocabulary scores.
Include the result of your example.
Conclude your paragraph by tieing it back to your main idea.
1. In conclusion, extreme sports are fun and do not have to be particularly dangerous. 2. People should take the opportunity to responsibly try out at least one extreme sport in their lives in order to see if it is to their liking.
Repeat your opinion.
Add in an extra detail or final thought.
Vocabulary
Try to figure out what the words in bold mean:
The increasing popularity of so-called extreme sports such as base jumping and rock climbing have led to backlash calling for them to be banned. Although these sports are potentially fatal, they should not be banned as they are also fun and can be undertaken responsibly.
The reason that many have demanded limits on extreme sports is their potential for injury and death. Take for example one of the most notorious extreme sports: base jumping. In this sport, participants jump off a given point (a cliff or building, for example) with a parachute. There is very little time before they hit the ground so unforeseen parachute malfunctions are possible and the fatality rate is extremely high. Those that do not die may suffer severe, debilitating injuries such as paralysis and brain damage. Base jumping is something of an outlier on the spectrum of dangerous sports but all these sports involve varying degrees of danger.
Despite the aforementioned concerns, I believe the fun people have outweighs potential injury when they are cautious. Base jumping is the most perilous extreme sport but other sports such as skiing, deep-sea diving, and rock climbing are relatively safe. Rock climbing is a good example of a sport that can be very safe and fun if proper precautions are taken. You should sign up for training and go with someone who knows how to safely rig up the harness and tie the requisite knots. Many people who try it end up become passionate rock climbers because it is an exhilirating experience. Most extreme sports, taken seriously, present little real danger and are an enjoyable pasttime.
In conclusion, extreme sports are fun and do not have to be particularly dangerous. People should take the opportunity to responsibly try out at least one extreme sport in their lives in order to see if it is to their liking.
Answers
increasing popularity more and more common
so-called allegedly
base jumping jumping from a low point with a parachute
backlash calling for people objecting to
potentially fatal could kill you
undertaken responsibly done with care
demanded limits regulated
take for example consider the instance of
notorious infamous
participants people taking part in
given point a random spot
parachute opens to save your life after jumping….
unforeseen can’t be predicted
malfunctions doesn’t work
fatality rate the number of people hurt/dying
debilitating injuries handicapped
paralysis can’t move
brain damage mental handicaps
outlier outside the norm
spectrum the full range of
varying degrees different levels
aforementioned concerns what was mentioned before
outweighs is stronger than
cautious careful
perilous dangerous
relatively safe somewhat risk-free
proper precautions well-prepared
sign up for joining
rig up set up/get read for
harness holds you when climbing
requisite knots what you must tie to climb
end up finally
passionate love for
exhilirating experience exciting time
taken seriously not treated lightly
present little real danger not actually that risky
Remember and fill in the blanks with the vocabulary:
The ______________ of______________ extreme sports such as ______________ and rock climbing have led to ______________ them to be banned. Although these sports are ______________, they should not be banned as they are also fun and can be ______________.
The reason that many have ______________ on extreme sports is their potential for injury and death.______________ one of the most ______________ extreme sports: base jumping. In this sport, ______________ jump off a ______________ (a cliff or building, for example) with a ______________. There is very little time before they hit the ground so ______________ parachute ______________ are possible and the ______________ is extremely high. Those that do not die may suffer severe, ______________ such as ______________ and ______________. Base jumping is something of an ______________ on the ______________ of dangerous sports but all these sports involve ______________ of danger.
Despite the ______________, I believe the fun people have ______________ potential injury when they are ______________. Base jumping is the most ______________ extreme sport but other sports such as skiing, deep-sea diving, and rock climbing are ______________. Rock climbing is a good example of a sport that can be very safe and fun if ______________ are taken. You should ______________ training and go with someone who knows how to safely ______________ the ______________ and tie the ______________. Many people who try it ______________ become ______________ rock climbers because it is an ______________. Most extreme sports, ______________ ,______________ and are an ______________.
In conclusion, extreme sports are fun and do not have to be particularly dangerous. People should take the opportunity to ______________ at least one extreme sport in their lives in order to see if it is ______________.
Notwithstanding the
aforementioned arguments, I concur that adventure sports should be welcomed moreare to be
embraced. It has been scientically proven that engaging in any
dangerous sports could can bolster
participants’ personal lives happiness and mentalitymental
well-being. In fact, when by overcoming
nerve-racking moments and conquering their own fears, players could can feel
a sense of achievement and satisfaction, which adds to their personal
experience and boosts their courage and self-esteem. For instance,
a rock climber who has conquered Everest might mark that
as his
the most significant milestone and
take pride in this accomplishment for his whole life. Another salient
point [G4] to clarify my view is that it is a
human right to freely partake in any recreational activityies.
If a person is willing to risk his life for an extreme sport to satisfy his
desire, the endeavor of prohibiting those sports from governments will be merely in
vain since he would likely secretly play engage in it
elsewhere. [G5]
Lots of good support for both of your main ideas
and a clear overall opinion. Your support was more concrete, specific and for
one paragraph you focused on one main idea – well done!
Cohesion/coherence 8
Clear throughout and good referencing, ellipsis and
paragraphing. You might want to look into theme/rheme which is the principle
that in English writing is clearer if you put the topic/old information at the
beginning of a sentence and what you want to say about it in the second part of
the sentence (as in the last sentence of paragraph 2). Otherwise great!
Vocabulary 7
Great vocabulary throughout – good enough for band
8 but a few too many mistakes and poor word choice bring this down to a 7 this
time.
Grammar 7
Complex sentences great as usual but mistakes in
almost every sentence and some simple ones with modal and articles bring this
down to a 7.
This is an IELTS writing task 2 sample answer essay related to children starting school from the real past IELTS test.
Here is the question:
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views give opinions.
Real Past IELTS Tests
Read below for my sample answer, analysis, practice, links and more to help you get ready for your IELTS exam!
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Dave
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Essay: Children Starting School (Real Past Tests)
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views give opinions.
Real Past IELTS Tests
There has been growing momentum in recent years towards movements for children to start schooling after the age of 7. In my opinion, although going to school from a young age will help with social development, children should be allowed to grow outside school until the age of 7.
Proponents of early schooling often point out the clinical research on the impact of school on social skills. At home, children are exposed to a variety of different circumstances. They may or may not have siblings, their parents might take them out for playdates often or neglect them at home, hampering their social skills. Once children start school, they are all in more or less an equal environment where they must communicate with older and younger children, compromise when playing, learn to listen to their teachers, and start forming stable bonds based on empathy and shared interests with others.
Despite the social advantages, children can develop more uniquely if they are allowed to delay their entrance to formal schooling. A good example of this is in Finland, where students do not begin school until after the age of 7. Finland is renowned for its top-performing students but this can be traced to a number of factors besides simply school age. However, the impact on individual development is apparent. According to research into child psychology, children form the basis of their personality between the ages of 4 and 7. Therefore it is paramount to delay the age when they begin school in order to give them room to breath and ultimately produce a greater variety of voices in society at large as has been the case in Finland.
In my opinion, the social benefits of school do not outweigh the individual positives of delayed schooling to both the individual and society. Schools should continue to research this area so that they can better advise policymakers.
Analysis
1. There has been growing momentum in recent years towards movements for children to start schooling after the age of 7. 2. In my opinion, although going to school from a young age will help with social development, children should be allowed to grow outside school until the age of 7.
Rewrite the main topic of the essay – keep it short and simple.
Give your opinion. Don’t sit in the middle – choose a clear side.
1. Proponents of early schooling often point out the clinical research on the impact of school on social skills. 2. At home, children are exposed to a variety of different circumstances. 3. They may or may not have siblings, their parents might take them out for playdates often or neglect them at home, hampering their social skills. 4. Once children start school, they are all in more or less an equal environment where they must communicate with older and younger children, compromise when playing, learn to listen to their teachers, and start forming stable bonds based on empathy and shared interests with others.
Write a clear topic sentence with your main idea at the end of the sentence.
Begin to develop your main idea. Be as specific as possible.
Continue to develop with a specific details. Here I use a hypothetical example.
I finish developing my main idea here. Make sure that you have at least 4 sentences.
1. Despite the social advantages, children can develop more uniquely if they are allowed to delay their entrance to formal schooling. 2. A good example of this is in Finland, where students do not begin school until after the age of 7. 3. Finland is renowned for its top-performing students but this can be traced to a number of factors besides simply school age. 4. However, the impact on individual development is apparent. 5. According to research into child psychology, children form the basis of their personality between the ages of 4 and 7. 6. Therefore it is paramount to delay the age when they begin school in order to give them room to breath and ultimately produce a greater variety of voices in society at large as has been the case in Finland.
Write a clear topic sentence for this paragraph as well with a new main idea.
Begin your example and develop it for the rest of the paragraph.
Stick to the same example and develop it fully.
Notice that I vary the length and complexity of my sentences.
If possible, quote some research (even if you have to make it up like i did here).
Conclude your paragraph and tie it back to the main idea.
1. In my opinion, the social benefits of school do not outweigh the individual positives of delayed schooling to both the individual and society. 2. Schools should continue to research this area so that they can better advise policymakers.
Repeat your opinion.
Add an extra detail or final thought to get full marks for task achievement.
Vocabulary
There has been growing momentum in recent years towards movements for children to start schooling after the age of 7. In my opinion, although going to school from a young age will help with social development, children should be allowed to grow outside school until the age of 7.
Proponents of early schooling often point out the clinical research on the impact of school on social skills. At home, children are exposed to a variety of different circumstances. They may or may not have siblings, their parents might take them out for playdates often or neglect them at home, hampering their social skills. Once children start school, they are all in more or less an equal environment where they must communicate with older and younger children, compromise when playing, learn to listen to their teachers, and start forming stable bonds based on empathy and shared interests with others.
Despite the social advantages, children can develop more uniquely if they are allowed to delay their entrance to formal schooling. A good example of this is in Finland, where students do not begin school until after the age of 7. Finland is renowned for its top-performing students but this can be traced to a number of factors besides simply school age. However, the impact on individual development is apparent. According to research into child psychology, children form the basis of their personality between the ages of 4 and 7. Therefore it is paramount to delay the age when they begin school in order to give them room to breath and ultimately produce a greater variety of voices in society at largeas has been the case in Finland.
In my opinion, the social benefits of school do not outweigh the individual positives of delayed schooling to both the individual and society. Schools should continue to research this area so that they can better advise policymakers.
Answers
growing momentum more and more pressure
movements shifts/developments
schooling going to school
social development interpersonal skills
proponents advocates
clinical research evidence
social skills talking and getting along with others
There has been ______________ in recent years towards ______________ for children to start ______________ after the age of 7. In my opinion, although going to school from a young age will help with ______________, children should be allowed to grow outside school until the age of 7.
______________ of early schooling often point out the ______________ on the impact of school on ______________. At home, children are ______________ to a variety of ______________. They may or may not have ______________, their parents might take them out for ______________ often or ______________ them at home, ______________ their social skills. Once children start school, they are all in ______________ an ______________ where they must communicate with older and younger children, ______________ when playing, learn to listen to their teachers, and start ______________ based on ______________ and ______________ with others.
Despite the social advantages, children can develop more ______________ if they are allowed to ______________ their entrance to ______________. A good example of this is in Finland, where students do not begin school until after the age of 7. Finland is ______________ for its ______________ but this can be ______________ to ______________ besides simply school age. However, the impact on individual development is ______________ . According to research into ______________, children ______________of their ______________ between the ages of 4 and 7. Therefore it is ______________ to delay the age when they begin school in order to give them ______________ and ______________ produce a greater variety of ______________ in ____________________________ in Finland.
In my opinion, the social benefits of school do not ______________ the individual positives of delayed schooling to both the individual and society. Schools should continue to research this area so that they can better advise ______________.
IELTS Listening Practice
Watch the video below and practice your listening. You can use some of the activity ideas here to help you practice without a teacher.
IELTS Reading Practice
Finland is a great example for a lot of different questions that come up on IELTS so read more here:
Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
You should write at least 250 words.
Living a healthy lifestyle has become an increasingly important topic as what researchers know about nutrition has evolved. In my opinion, despite some obvious hurdles it is easier than ever for people to be healthy and fit today.
The main hurdles related to fitness today revolve around technology. A few decades ago people led much more active lives that involved more exercising and comparatively less time in front of screens. The advent of computer technology generally and the smartphone in particular has precipitated more passive lifestyles globally. Smartphones are the chief culprit. People become easily addicted to the small dopamine rushes that phones provide and their availability means they are tailor-made to be everyone’s worst habit. This prevents many people from developing healthy exercise patterns and, in cases where people binge watch shows on Netflix or YouTube, can also cause over-eating.
Despite the above mentioned challenges, it is easy to be healthy today because of the amount of information on nutrition available. Doctors a hundred years ago recommended smoking cigarettes and the many sources of heart disease were only documented decades ago. Today everywhere you look there are articles and people on television laying out hard evidence related to nutrition as well as the importance of eating vegetables and limiting meats and fatty foods. There is healthy debate and the consensus on specific foods might fluctuate but the general trend is greater awareness of which foods are healthy and which ones will shorten your life and undermine your fitness goals.
In conclusion, although there are good excuses today to be unfit, people can learn enough about nutrition to lead a healthy life with a degree of ease. Schools should make greater efforts in the future to teach students about nutrition and set them up with the knowledge they need to combat passivity.
Analysis
1. Living a healthy lifestyle has become an increasingly important topic as what researchers know about nutrition has evolved. 2. In my opinion, despite some obvious hurdles it is easier than ever for people to be healthy and fit today.
Rewrite the essay’s overall topic for your first sentence.
Give your opinion – make is 100% clear.
1. The main hurdles related to fitness today revolve around technology. 2. A few decades ago people led much more active lives that involved more exercising and comparatively less time in front of screens. 3. The advent of computer technology generally and the smartphone in particular has precipitated more passive lifestyles globally. 4. Smartphones are the chief culprit. 5. People become easily addicted to the small dopamine rushes that phones provide and their availability means they are tailor-made to be everyone’s worst habit. 6. This prevents many people from developing healthy exercise patterns and, in cases where people binge watch shows on Netflix or YouTube, can also cause over-eating.
Your first sentence should be a topic sentence with your main idea for that paragraph. Keep it short and simple.
I start here with a comparision to the past to explain my main idea.
Be as specific as possible developing your main idea.
Vary your grammar with short, accurate sentences and longer, more complex ones.
The more detail, the better your vocabulary will be.
Don’t switch to a new main idea – just finish developing the main idea from your topic sentence.
1. Despite the above mentioned challenges, it is easy to be healthy today because of the amount of information on nutrition available. 2. Doctors a hundred years ago recommended smoking cigarettes and the many sources of heart disease were only documented decades ago. 3. Today everywhere you look there are articles and people on television laying out hard evidence related to nutrition as well as the importance of eating vegetables and limiting meats and fatty foods. 4. There is healthy debate and the consensus on specific foods might fluctuate but the general trend is greater awareness of which foods are healthy and which ones will shorten your life and undermine your fitness goals.
Write another clear topic sentence with a single main idea.
Develop your main idea with a specific example.
Here I compare this to the amount of information available on nutrition today.
Draw a conclusion/further develop with your last sentence.
1. In conclusion, although there are good excuses today to be unfit, people can learn enough about nutrition to lead a healthy life with a degree of ease. 2. Schools should make greater efforts in the future to teach students about nutrition and set them up with the knowledge they need to combat passivity.
Repeat your opinion.
Include a final detail/extra detail to conclude the essay.
Vocabulary
Living a healthy lifestyle has become an increasingly important topic as what researchers know about nutrition has evolved. In my opinion, despite some obvious hurdles it is easier than ever for people to be healthy and fit today.
The main hurdles related to fitness today revolve around technology. A few decades ago people led much more active lives that involved more exercising and comparatively less time in front of screens. The advent of computer technology generally and the smartphone in particular has precipitated more passive lifestyles globally. Smartphones are the chief culprit. People become easily addicted to the small dopamine rushes that phones provide and their availability means they are tailor-made to be everyone’s worst habit. This prevents many people from developing healthy exercise patterns and, in cases where people binge watch shows on Netflix or YouTube, can also cause over-eating.
Despite the above mentioned challenges, it is easy to be healthy today because of the amount of information on nutrition available. Doctors a hundred years ago recommended smoking cigarettes and the many sources of heart disease were only documented decades ago. Today everywhere you look there are articles and people on television laying out hard evidence related to nutrition as well as the importance of eating vegetables and limiting meats and fatty foods. There is healthy debate and the consensus on specific foods might fluctuate but the general trend is greater awareness of which foods are healthy and which ones will shorten your life and undermine your fitness goals.
In conclusion, although there are good excuses today to be unfit, people can learn enough about nutrition to lead a healthy life with a degree of ease. Schools should make greater efforts in the future to teach students about nutrition and set them up with the knowledge they need to combat passivity.
Answers
healthy lifestyle staying in shap
evolved changed/become more modern
obvious hurdles clear challenges
easier than ever easiest now
main hurdles clearest challenges
revolve around are related to
comparatively less time not as much time for
screens devices
advent beginning of
generally overal
in particular especially
precipitated led to
passive lifestyles globally people being less active today
chief culprit main source of blame
easily addicted can’t stop using
small dopamine rushes a little bit of pleasure
tailor-made made specifically for
prevents stops
healthy exercise patterns good habits for going to the gym
binge watch shows watch multiple episodes in a row
Living a _____________ has become an increasingly important topic as what researchers know about nutrition has _____________. In my opinion, despite some _____________ it is _____________ for people to be healthy and fit today.
The _____________ related to fitness today _____________ technology. A few decades ago people led much more active lives that involved more exercising and _____________ in front of _____________. The _____________ of computer technology _____________ and the smartphone _____________ has _____________ more _____________. Smartphones are the _____________. People become _____________ to the _____________ that phones provide and their availability means they are _____________ to be everyone’s worst habit. This _____________ many people from developing _____________ and, in cases where people _____________ on Netflix or YouTube, can also cause _____________.
Despite the _____________, it is easy to be healthy today because of the amount of information on nutrition available. Doctors a hundred years ago recommended smoking cigarettes and the many sources of _____________ were only _____________ decades ago. Today everywhere you look there are articles and people on television __________________________ related to nutrition as well as the importance of eating vegetables and _____________ meats and fatty foods. There is _____________ and the _____________ on specific foods might fluctuate but the _____________ is _____________ of which foods are healthy and which ones will _____________ your life and _____________ your fitness goals.
In conclusion, although there are _____________ today to be unfit, people can learn enough about nutrition to lead a healthy life with _____________. Schools should make greater efforts in the future to teach students about nutrition and _____________ with the knowledge they need to _____________.
Listen and check:
Listening Practice
Listen to the video below to review the topic:
Sample Student Corrections
Compare your own writing with my corrections of a student IELTS essay below:
On the one hand, some people claim that it is
struggling [A4] to lead a
healthy lifestyle in
today [A5] world. One
significant factor contributing to this fact is penetration [A6] of technology
into humans’
daily lives[A7] . There is
no doubt that people gradually grow addicted to state-of-the-art gadgets such
as smartphones, laptops, smart televisions, etc., [A8] which grasp their
rapt attention [A9] and hamper [A10] them from doing physical exercise or outdoor
activities. Furthermore, proponents of this viewpoint also state that their
hectic schedule is a
[A11] main reason preventing them from living healthily.
Undoubtedly, the more developed a society becomes, the heavier load of work [A12] people have to handle. Obviously, pressure and work strain [A13] are unavoidable. When spare time is limited, fast food
or processed food turns
out to be a brilliant solution [A14] for sedentary employees, which eventually results in
obesity and other diseases like high blood pressure or diabetes.
As expressed above[A24] , though modern life is an undeniable obstruction to
people’s healthy lifestyle, I suppose that a wholesome way of life is still
achievable [A25] thanks to advanced technology and peoples’ growing
awareness of health issues.
Task Achievement: Band 7
This is the closest one to an 8 because
you talk about both sides in a lot of detail with lots of support. If your
other scores go up, then you can expect an 8. Only a couple things hold you
back. 1. Make your opinion clearer in the conclusion. 2. Include an extra
detail (check my sample answers to see what I mean). 3. The second paragraph is
a little general and could use more specific support.
Grammar: Band 7
There are some slips – which aren’t so
important but also some ingrained errors including with possessives and
articles that bring you down to 8. To get up to 8, continue trying new complex
structures so that you are more flexible with them and fix the few mistakes
with grammar that keep coming up. This will take some time to fix.
Vocabulary: Band 7
Lots of great attempts and great
vocabulary. Some of it is band 8. But there are also lots of inocrrect
collocations and phrases that could be much better. This area will take the
longest to improve to band 8.
Cohesion & Coherence: Band 7
Very clear and good in terms of structure
and paragraphing. This one is also close to 8. Don’t us a linking work at the
beginning of every sentence. Sometimes the wordiness and the complex grammar
with mistakes make it more difficult to follow. Improve the grammar and vocabulary
and this will easily be an 8 because you understand the structure and ideas
very well!
Overall: 7
[A1]Don’t use this word in the passive – awkward.
Better to say ‘Many people reckon’ or better ‘It is often claimed’ The sentence
doesn’t make sense though because leading a wholesome life is the same as
wellness – very confusing to start
[A23]Ok, but more specific vocab to get up to band
8. For example ‘has increased the chances that people can take advantage of the
latest research into nutrition and exerise and turn these into long-term,
healthy habits.’
[A24]Don’t use this phrase. Just say ‘In conclusion’
[A25]Careful! Doesn’t directly answer the question
and a strict examiner could give you band 5 for task achievement!
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