This is an IELTS writing task 2 sample answer essay on the topic of the educational, social, and commercial pressures on children from the real general training IELTS exam.
It’s a really hard (even unfair!) one because of all the different areas you have to develop in your answer. This is why my answer this time is a little on the long side…
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Dave
IELTS Essay: Pressure on Children
Children are now facing educational, social, and commercial pressures.
What are the causes of these pressures?
What measures can be taken to reduce them?
Some feel that children now have more responsibilities related to education, society, and economics. In my opinion, the causes all concern technology and the best counter-measures must be enacted in concert by governments and parents.
In my opinion, the primary catalyst for these added pressures is technology. In terms of education, students are now expected to learn about computers in school. By itself, this contributes little pressure; however, the additional time in front of a screen, coupled with the time spent in their free time online takes a heavy toll on mental health. Similarly, social demands related to the online world are growing. Most children must at some age begin to keep in touch with friends through various messaging applications and then learn the dynamics of social media, which can also increase anxiety. Finally, while online most children will be targeted by advertisements. This exploitation means that even the commercial world adds psychological pressure to the minds of the young.
The best solutions to these problems come from authority figures. Firstly, governments can establish stringent regulations. A good example of this would be a law recently passed in mainland China that prohibits gaming companies from allowing children to play more than 3 hours online per week. Similar restrictions about screen time in schools and laws governing advertising would also help alleviate the novel burdens technology has added to children’s lives. Additionally, parents can serve as a final filter and monitor their children closely. Instead of allowing their children to have a smartphone from a young age, they can instill a love of reading, playing outside, and socializing in the complete absence of technology in the hopes of fostering lifelong habits.
In conclusion, despite the risks technology poses to mental health for children, there are simple steps that governments and parents can take. However, this requires that parents recognize these dangers as inherently harmful to their children’s development.
Analysis
1. Some feel that children now have more responsibilities related to education, society, and economics. 2. In my opinion, the causes all concern technology and the best counter-measures must be enacted in concert by governments and parents.
- Paraphrase the overall essay topic.
- Write a clear opinion. Read more about introductions here.
1. In my opinion, the primary catalyst for these added pressures is technology. 2. In terms of education, students are now expected to learn about computers in school. 3. By itself, this contributes little pressure; however, the additional time in front of a screen, coupled with the time spent in their free time online takes a heavy toll on mental health. 4. Similarly, social demands related to the online world are growing. 5. Most children must at some age begin to keep in touch with friends through various messaging applications and then learn the dynamics of social media, which can also increase anxiety. 6. Finally, while online most children will be targeted by advertisements. This exploitation means that even the commercial world adds psychological pressure to the minds of the young.
- Write a topic sentence with a clear main idea at the end.
- Explain your main idea.
- Develop it with specific or hypothetical examples.
- Keep developing it fully.
- Extend with some long sentences as well.
- Finish this main idea.
1. The best solutions to these problems come from authority figures. 2. Firstly, governments can establish stringent regulations. 3. A good example of this would be a law recently passed in mainland China that prohibits gaming companies from allowing children to play more than 3 hours online per week. 4. Similar restrictions about screen time in schools and laws governing advertising would also help alleviate the novel burdens technology has added to children’s lives. 5. Additionally, parents can serve as a final filter and monitor their children closely. 6. Instead of allowing their children to have a smartphone from a young age, they can instill a love of reading, playing outside, and socializing in the complete absence of technology in the hopes of fostering lifelong habits.
- Write a new topic sentence with a new main idea at the end.
- Explain your new main idea.
- Include specific details and examples.
- Continue developing it…
- as fully as possible!
- Continue your last solution.
1. In conclusion, despite the risks technology poses to mental health for children, there are simple steps that governments and parents can take. 2. However, this requires that parents recognize these dangers as inherently harmful to their children’s development.
- Summarise your main ideas.
- Include a final thought. Read more about conclusions here.
Vocabulary
What do the words in bold below mean? Make some notes on paper to aid memory and then check below.
Some feel that children now have more responsibilities related to education, society, and economics. In my opinion, the causes all concern technology and the best counter-measures must be enacted in concert by governments and parents.
In my opinion, the primary catalyst for these added pressures is technology. In terms of education, students are now expected to learn about computers in school. By itself, this contributes little pressure; however, the additional time in front of a screen, coupled with the time spent in their free time online takes a heavy toll on mental health. Similarly, social demands related to the online world are growing. Most children must at some age begin to keep in touch with friends through various messaging applications and then learn the dynamics of social media, which can also increase anxiety. Finally, while online most children will be targeted by advertisements. This exploitation means that even the commercial world adds psychological pressure to the minds of the young.
The best solutions to these problems come from authority figures. Firstly, governments can establish stringent regulations. A good example of this would be a law recently passed in mainland China that prohibits gaming companies from allowing children to play more than 3 hours online per week. Similar restrictions about screen time in schools and laws governing advertising would also help alleviate the novel burdens technology has added to children’s lives. Additionally, parents can serve as a final filter and monitor their children closely. Instead of allowing their children to have a smartphone from a young age, they can instill a love of reading, playing outside, and socializing in the complete absence of technology in the hopes of fostering lifelong habits.
In conclusion, despite the risks technology poses to mental health for children, there are simple steps that governments and parents can take. However, this requires that parents recognize these dangers as inherently harmful to their children’s development.
Answers
For extra practice, write an antonym (opposite word) on a piece of paper to help you remember the new vocabulary:
responsibilities duties
related to concerning
education learning
society the public
economics business
causes results in
concern have to do with
counter-measures solutions
enacted passed
in concert together
primary catalyst main reason for
added pressures more stress
in terms of education when it comes to learning
expected to predicted to
by itself on its own
contributes adds to
additional time more time
screen what every device has so you can see things
coupled with combined with
takes a heavy toll on harms a lot
mental health psychological state
similarly the same
social demands needs of society
online world virtual life
growing getting larger
begin start
keep in touch talk to
various messaging applications Facebook Messenger, Google Hangouts, etc.
dynamics relationships
social media Instagram, TikTok, Facebook
increase anxiety make more nervous
targeted trying to get at
exploitation taking advantage of
commercial related to economics and business
adds psychological pressure more stressful responsibility
minds brains
authority figures people with power
establish stringent regulations create good laws
A good example of this would be a noteworthy instance is
recently passed soon legislated
prohibits forbids
per week each week
similar restrictions related laws
governing advertising controlling ads
alleviate make better
novel burdens technology new stresses related to computers
additionally furthermore
serve as be
final filter last barrier
monitor watch closely
instead of allowing rather than letting
instill put into
socializing hanging out
complete absence not at all there
in the hopes of in order to
fostering lifelong habits engendering actions that will last forever
despite regardless of
risks threats
simple steps basic fixes
requires needs
recognize know about
dangers risks
inherently harmful definitely not good
development growth
Pronunciation
Practice saying the vocabulary below and use this tip about Google voice search:
rɪsˌpɒnsəˈbɪlɪtiz
rɪˈleɪtɪd tuː
ˌɛdju(ː)ˈkeɪʃən
səˈsaɪəti
ˌiːkəˈnɒmɪks
ˈkɔːzɪz
kənˈsɜːn
ˈkaʊntəˌmɛʒəz
ɪˈnæktɪd
ɪn ˈkɒnsə(ː)t
ˈpraɪməri ˈkætəlɪst
ˈædɪd ˈprɛʃəz
ɪn tɜːmz ɒv ˌɛdju(ː)ˈkeɪʃən
ɪksˈpɛktɪd tuː
baɪ ɪtˈsɛlf
kənˈtrɪbju(ː)ts
əˈdɪʃənl taɪm
skriːn
ˈkʌpld wɪð
teɪks ə ˈhɛvi təʊl ɒn
ˈmɛntl hɛlθ
ˈsɪmɪləli
ˈsəʊʃəl dɪˈmɑːndz
ˈɒnˌlaɪn wɜːld
ˈgrəʊɪŋ
bɪˈgɪn
kiːp ɪn tʌʧ
ˈveərɪəs ˈmɛsɪʤɪŋ ˌæplɪˈkeɪʃ(ə)nz
daɪˈnæmɪks
ˈsəʊʃəl ˈmiːdiə
ˈɪnkriːs æŋˈzaɪəti
ˈtɑːgɪtɪd
ˌɛksplɔɪˈteɪʃən
kəˈmɜːʃəl
ædz ˌsaɪkəˈlɒʤɪkəl ˈprɛʃə
maɪndz
ɔːˈθɒrɪti ˈfɪgəz
ɪsˈtæblɪʃ ˈstrɪnʤənt ˌrɛgjʊˈleɪʃənz
ə gʊd ɪgˈzɑːmpl ɒv ðɪs wʊd biː
ˈriːsntli pɑːst
prəˈhɪbɪts
pɜː wiːk
ˈsɪmɪlə rɪsˈtrɪkʃənz
ˈgʌvənɪŋ ˈædvətaɪzɪŋ
əˈliːvɪeɪt
ˈnɒvəl ˈbɜːdnz tɛkˈnɒləʤi
əˈdɪʃənli
sɜːv æz
ˈfaɪnl ˈfɪltə
ˈmɒnɪtə
ɪnˈstɛd ɒv əˈlaʊɪŋ
ɪnˈstɪl
ˈsəʊʃəlaɪzɪŋ
kəmˈpliːt ˈæbsəns
ɪn ðə həʊps ɒv
ˈfɒstərɪŋ ˈlaɪflɒŋ ˈhæbɪts
dɪsˈpaɪt
rɪsks
ˈsɪmpl stɛps
rɪˈkwaɪəz
ˈrɛkəgnaɪz
ˈdeɪnʤəz
ɪnˈhɪərəntli ˈhɑːmfʊl
dɪˈvɛləpmənt
Vocabulary Practice
I recommend getting a pencil and piece of paper because that aids memory. Then write down the missing vocabulary from my sample answer in your notebook:
Some feel that children now have more r___________________s r_______________o e____________n, s_________y, and e______________s. In my opinion, the c________s all c_________n technology and the best c____________________s must be e__________d i_____________t by governments and parents.
In my opinion, the p_______________t for these a_________________s is technology. I___________________n, students are now e_______________o learn about computers in school. B__________f, this c_______________s little pressure; however, the a_________________e in front of a s________n, c________________h the time spent in their free time online t______________________n m________________h. S_____________y, s__________________s related to the o_______________d are g_____________g. Most children must at some age b_______n to k_________________h with friends through v___________________________s and then learn the d___________s of s_______________a, which can also i___________________y. Finally, while online most children will be t_____________d by advertisements. This e_______________n means that even the c___________________l world a__________________________e to the m________s of the young.
The best solutions to these problems come from a__________________s. Firstly, governments can e_________________________s. A______________________________e a law r__________________d in mainland China that p______________s gaming companies from allowing children to play more than 3 hours online p_______________k. S_____________________s about screen time in schools and laws g__________________________g would also help a_____________e the n_______________________y has added to children’s lives. A_______________y, parents can s__________s a f______________r and m____________r their children closely. I_____________________g their children to have a smartphone from a young age, they can i__________l a love of reading, playing outside, and s_____________g in the c____________________e of technology i_________________________________s.
In conclusion, d__________e the r______s technology poses to mental health for children, there are s_______________s that governments and parents can take. However, this r__________s that parents r___________e these d___________s as i___________________l to their children’s d_______________t.
Listening Practice
Learn more about this topic by watching videos from The New York Times YouTube channel below and practice with these activities:
Reading Practice
Read more about this topic and use these ideas to practice:
https://www.verywellfamily.com/the-dangers-of-putting-too-much-pressure-on-kids-1094823
Speaking Practice
Practice with the following speaking questions from the real IELTS speaking exam:
Smartphones
- When should parents allow their children to have a phone?
- Are there are places in your country where phones are not allowed?
- How can phones be disruptive sometimes?
- Do people in your country often switch off their phones?
- Are people often impolite with their phone use?
Writing Practice
Practice with the related IELTS essay topic below:
Some people believe that children should grow up in the city while others believe the countryside is a better choice.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There is an argument that, it is better for kids to be raised in the city or countryside. In my opinion, the city is a better choice for kids.
The major benefit of growing up in the city is the better public facilities. In terms of education, teachers with many years of teaching experience tend to stay in cities because of the high pay, and children can obtain a good education in the city. For example, the top high school is always in a big city. Moreover, the health institutions in the cities are better than those in the countryside, which protect children from diseases or tooth pain. In addition, with a lot of advanced companies in the city, kids can easily find a job with more income when they grow up, which results in a better life in the future.
The countryside has less pressure on children, which leads to a happy childhood for children. In the countryside, there is little competition for scores in school. Therefore, they have more time to play during their childhood. What’s more, the environment in the countryside is much cleaner. Those factories would likely be built near the cities for more labor. Hence, air pollution and water pollution do not exist in the countryside, which leads to better health for children.
As a result, although the countryside gives a happy childhood to children, there is less chance for the younger generation to earn more money and change their lives. In contrast, the city needs development and has the capacity to offer lots of opportunities for children.
Hello,In conclusion despite the risks technology poses or pose?
which one is correct? It is confusing!
Poses – because technology is the subject and it is the one posing the risks – yes a bit confusing but it is a common phrase!
Ok. So you mean to say that word ‘poses’ is in the context of technology only, and not for risks of technology as a whole?
Not exactly – it basically means that technology poses/creates these risks.
Technology is the one doing the action – asking/creating/posing these threats.
Is that clear?
Yes. Thank you again!
No worries!