•  
  •  
  •  
    73.3K
    Shares

This is an IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer from the general training test on the topic of whether or not towns should be building shopping malls or public parks/sports facilities.

The only tricky area is whether or not you need to write about both parks and sports facilities.

I think that they are similar enough that you can group them together.

If you need to learn more about IELTS structures, you can read about them here.

My other sample answers are here.

Finally, if you are going to take IELTS, you should sign up for my online courses to get exclusive videos and personal feedback for $14.99 a month here.

My writing correction service can be found here and my Patreon exclusive essays are here.

Dave

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer General Training: Shopping Malls (Real IELTS Test)

Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Real Past IELTS Tests

It is often suggested that it would be better to erect parks and exercise facilities in new urban developments rather than shopping malls. I agree that this would be an ideal solution as it would spur on increased health awareness.

The main reason detractors are in favour of shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. Malls employ hundreds of workers from cashiers to store clerks to managers as well as the various members of janitorial staff charged with maintaining the mall itself. The benefits are clear when you couple these factors with the increased revenue that businesses bring in the form of taxation and propping up the local consumer product market.

Notwithstanding the economic returns malls bring, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon readily available, is no longer a pressing issue. However, health has become the dominant concern of the decade as obesity soars and heart disease has reached pandemic levels. Well maintained, beautifully landscaped parks and outdoor exercise facilities would instill in residents an obligation to work out. If they are numerous, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to access them.

In conclusion, the job market is less important than the health of ordinary residents. The bigger issue is the feasibility of such an approach given the lack of financial incentive for those towns to prioritise the foundations for their residents’ well-being over business interests.

Analysis

1. It is often suggested that it would be better to erect parks and exercise facilities in new urban developments rather than shopping malls. 2. I agree that this would be an ideal solution as it would spur on increased health awareness.

  1. Your first sentence should restate the topic for the essay. Simple and clear.
  2. The next sentence must include your opinion. Choose a side and be 100% clear about your opinion.

1. The main reason detractors are in favour of shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. 2. Malls employ hundreds of workers from cashiers to store clerks to managers as well as the various members of janitorial staff charged with maintaining the mall itself. 3. The benefits are clear when you couple these factors with the increased revenue that businesses bring in the form of taxation and propping up the local consumer product market.

  1. You should write a topic sentence for both paragraphs. This one contains my single main idea: benefit for the economy.
  2. Your second sentence should begin to develop that main idea with specific examples/ideas. Be as specific as you can!
  3. The third sentence in this paragraph also develops the same main idea. This paragraph is a little bit short – aim for 4 – 5 sentences.

1. Notwithstanding the economic returns malls bring, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. 2. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon readily available, is no longer a pressing issue. 3. However, health has become the dominant concern of the decade as obesity soars and heart disease has reached pandemic levels. 4. Well maintained, beautifully landscaped parks and outdoor exercise facilities would instill in residents an obligation to work out. 5. If they are numerous, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to access them.

  1. You should always start the paragraph with a topic sentence. Make it very clear and only include one main idea per paragraph.
  2. After your topic sentence, begin to develop your main idea and be as specific as possible!
  3. Your third sentence should also develop the same main idea.
  4. The fourth sentence continues to develop the main idea. The more specific, the better your vocabulary and cohesion/coherence score will be!
  5. Your last sentence can either summarise or continue to develop. It is better to continue to develop because it will help your task achievement score.

1. In conclusion, the job market is less important than the health of ordinary residents. 2. The bigger issue is the feasibility of such an approach given the lack of financial incentive for those towns to prioritise the foundations for their residents’ well-being over business interests.

  1. The first sentence of your conclusion should repeat your opinion. Don’t worry about summarising.
  2. Your final sentence should add an extra detail. Read more about that here.

Vocabulary

It is often suggested that it would be better to erect parks and exercise facilities in new urban developments rather than shopping malls. I agree that this would be an ideal solution as it would spur on increased health awareness.

The main reason detractors are in favour of shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. Malls employ hundreds of workers from cashiers to store clerks to managers as well as the various members of janitorial staff charged with maintaining the mall itself. The benefits are clear when you couple these factors with the increased revenue that businesses bring in the form of taxation and propping up the local consumer product market.

Notwithstanding the economic returns malls bring, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon readily available, is no longer a pressing issue. However, health has become the dominant concern of the decade as obesity soars and heart disease has reached pandemic levels. Well maintained, beautifully landscaped parks and outdoor exercise facilities would instill in residents an obligation to work out. If they are numerous, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to access them.

In conclusion, the job market is less important than the health of ordinary residents. The bigger issue is the feasibility of such an approach given the lack of financial incentive for those towns to prioritise the foundations for their residents’ well-being over business interests.

Answers

often suggested many advise

erect build

new urban developments new towns/cities

ideal solution best way forward

spur on encourage

health awareness caring about your health

detractors opponents

in favour of rathering

cashiers people who ring up your purchases

store clerks people working in shops

janitorial staff charged cleaners

couple combine

increased revenue more money

taxation taxes

local consumer product market items being sold there

notwithstanding regardless of

economic returns money generated

bring create

readily availablecan be found anywhere

no longer not anymore

pressing issue important problem

dominant concern most pressing worry

obesity soars people getting fatter

reached pandemic levels has become a crisis

well maintained kept in good shape

landscaped the ground well-shaped

instill cause to be in

obligation responsibility/feel obligated to

numerous lots of

access get into

job market employment

ordinary normal

feasibility possibility

lack of financial incentive no money in it

prioritise focus on

well-being health

business interests financial factors

Pronunciation

ˈɒf(ə)n səˈʤɛstɪd
ɪˈrɛkt 
njuː ˈɜːbən dɪˈvɛləpmənts 
aɪˈdɪəl səˈluːʃən 
spɜːr ɒn 
hɛlθ əˈweənəs
dɪˈtræktəz 
ɪn ˈfeɪvər ɒv 
kæˈʃɪəz 
stɔː klɑːks 
ˈʤænɪtə rɪəl  stɑːf ʧɑːʤd 
ˈkʌpl 
ɪnˈkriːst ˈrɛvɪnjuː 
tækˈseɪʃən 
ˈləʊkəl kənˈsjuːmə ˈprɒdʌkt ˈmɑːkɪt
ˌnɒtwɪθˈstændɪŋ 
ˌiːkəˈnɒmɪk rɪˈtɜːnz 
brɪŋ
ˈrɛdɪli əˈveɪləbl
nəʊ ˈlɒŋgər ˈprɛsɪŋ ˈɪʃuː
ˈdɒmɪnənt kənˈsɜːn 
əʊˈbiːsɪti sɔːz 
riːʧt pænˈdɛmɪk ˈlɛvlz
wɛl meɪnˈteɪnd
ˈlænskeɪpt 
ɪnˈstɪl 
ˌɒblɪˈgeɪʃən 
ˈnjuːmərəs
ˈæksɛs
ʤɒb ˈmɑːkɪt 
ˈɔːdnri 
ˌfiːzəˈbɪlɪti 
læk ɒv faɪˈnænʃəl ɪnˈsɛntɪv 
praɪˈɒrɪˌtaɪz
wɛl-ˈbiːɪŋ 
ˈbɪznɪs ˈɪntrɪsts

ˈprɛsɪŋ ˈɪʃuː
ˈdɒmɪnənt kənˈsɜːn 
əʊˈbiːsɪti sɔːz 
riːʧt pænˈdɛmɪk ˈlɛvlz
wɛl meɪnˈteɪnd
ˈlænskeɪpt 
ɪnˈstɪl 
ˌɒblɪˈgeɪʃən 
ˈnjuːmərəs
ˈæksɛs
ʤɒb ˈmɑːkɪt 
ˈɔːdnri 
ˌfiːzəˈbɪlɪti 
læk ɒv faɪˈnænʃəl ɪnˈsɛntɪv 
praɪˈɒrɪˌtaɪz
wɛl-ˈbiːɪŋ 
ˈbɪznɪs ˈɪntrɪsts

IELTS Vocabulary Practice

Remember and fill in the blanks:

It is __________________ that it would be better to __________________ parks and exercise facilities in __________________ rather than shopping malls. I agree that this would be an __________________ as it would __________________ increased __________________.

The main reason __________________ are __________________ shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. Malls employ hundreds of workers from __________________ to __________________ to managers as well as the various members of __________________ with maintaining the mall itself. The benefits are clear when you __________________ these factors with the __________________ that businesses bring in the form of __________________ and propping up the __________________.

__________________ the __________________ malls __________________, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon __________________, is __________________ a __________________. However, health has become the __________________ of the decade as __________________ and heart disease has __________________. __________________, beautifully __________________ parks and outdoor exercise facilities would __________________ in residents an __________________ to work out. If they are __________________, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to __________________ them.

In conclusion, the __________________ is less important than the health of __________________ residents. The bigger issue is the __________________ of such an approach given the __________________ for those towns to __________________ the foundations for their residents’ __________________ over __________________.

IELTS Listening Practice

Listen and use some of these ideas to practice:

IELTS Reading Practice

Read the article below and improve your IELTS reading using these ideas:

https://www.wired.com/story/photo-gallery-retail-apocalypse/

IELTS Student Sample Corrections

It is often suggested that municipal government should provide more public parks and sports facilities in new towns instead of shopping centres. I will discuss both views but personally, I agree that the rewards of building new sports facilities and parks, which include encourage a healthy lifestyle, outweigh the benefits of establishing new shopping malls. [G1] 

Generally speaking, one of the benefits of building new shopping malls is that local residents can more easily shopping near their residence. The majority of households go shopping regularly regular shopping for food, clothes or other household goods. If there is a shopping mall in their towntheir town lacks a shopping mall, people could shoppingcan find all the items they need in one shopping mall instead of going to scattered shops or driving an hour to access other shopping centres from closer to their home. This results in a regional shopping centre offering a convenient lifestyle for your typical the residents who go shopping on a regular basis. [G2] 

Despite of the advantage of building shopping centres in a town, providing sports facilities and public parks has a greater number ofmore positive impacts on local residents. Sports centres and parks play an important role in improving a healthy lifestyle for people. If there are those facilities next to their house, people are can easily to access and can spend time together with their family and friends. For example, children can play football with their pupils after school, and parents can go to swimming after finishing work. If these facilities were located in their town, people readily can acres and use them, it would help maintaining their healthy life style. [G3] 

In conclusion, I feel that there are clear advantages building new sports centre and parks in a new town, include a health life style benefit, rather than adding a new shopping centre. Improving public health is more important than creating a convenient shopping experience.[G4] 

Word count: 297


 [G1]Really great intro – nice to include your overall opinion as well as the main idea for it – great sentence!

 [G2]Good clear paragraph, the vocabulary is good but nothing special

 [G3]Also good, it could be a bit more specific and detailed to fully support your reasons. If people life far from parks, especially in poorer neighborhoods where children need the exercise the most, they are unlikely to have the time or ability to get there. Or focus as well on older people who need exercise but are unlikely to have the desire or ability to travel far.

 [G4]Great last sentence!


  •  
  •  
  •  
    73.3K
    Shares

Recommended For You

0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x