This is an IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer from the general training test on the topic of whether or not towns should be building shopping malls or public parks/sports facilities.
The only tricky area is whether or not you need to write about both parks and sports facilities.
I think that they are similar enough that you can group them together.
If you need to learn more about IELTS structures, you can read about them here.
My other sample answers are here.
You can also get my exclusive IELTS Ebooks by signing up for my Patreon here.
Dave
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer General Training: Shopping Malls (Real IELTS Test)
Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Real Past IELTS Tests
It is often suggested that it would be better to erect parks and exercise facilities in new urban developments rather than shopping malls. I agree that this would be an ideal solution as it would spur on increased health awareness.
The main reason detractors are in favour of shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. Malls employ hundreds of workers from cashiers to store clerks to managers as well as the various members of janitorial staff charged with maintaining the mall itself. The benefits are clear when you couple these factors with the increased revenue that businesses bring in the form of taxation and propping up the local consumer product market.
Notwithstanding the economic returns malls bring, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon readily available, is no longer a pressing issue. However, health has become the dominant concern of the decade as obesity soars and heart disease has reached pandemic levels. Well maintained, beautifully landscaped parks and outdoor exercise facilities would instill in residents an obligation to work out. If they are numerous, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to access them.
In conclusion, the job market is less important than the health of ordinary residents. The bigger issue is the feasibility of such an approach given the lack of financial incentive for those towns to prioritise the foundations for their residents’ well-being over business interests.
Analysis
1. It is often suggested that it would be better to erect parks and exercise facilities in new urban developments rather than shopping malls. 2. I agree that this would be an ideal solution as it would spur on increased health awareness.
- Your first sentence should restate the topic for the essay. Simple and clear.
- The next sentence must include your opinion. Choose a side and be 100% clear about your opinion.
1. The main reason detractors are in favour of shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. 2. Malls employ hundreds of workers from cashiers to store clerks to managers as well as the various members of janitorial staff charged with maintaining the mall itself. 3. The benefits are clear when you couple these factors with the increased revenue that businesses bring in the form of taxation and propping up the local consumer product market.
- You should write a topic sentence for both paragraphs. This one contains my single main idea: benefit for the economy.
- Your second sentence should begin to develop that main idea with specific examples/ideas. Be as specific as you can!
- The third sentence in this paragraph also develops the same main idea. This paragraph is a little bit short – aim for 4 – 5 sentences.
1. Notwithstanding the economic returns malls bring, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. 2. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon readily available, is no longer a pressing issue. 3. However, health has become the dominant concern of the decade as obesity soars and heart disease has reached pandemic levels. 4. Well maintained, beautifully landscaped parks and outdoor exercise facilities would instill in residents an obligation to work out. 5. If they are numerous, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to access them.
- You should always start the paragraph with a topic sentence. Make it very clear and only include one main idea per paragraph.
- After your topic sentence, begin to develop your main idea and be as specific as possible!
- Your third sentence should also develop the same main idea.
- The fourth sentence continues to develop the main idea. The more specific, the better your vocabulary and cohesion/coherence score will be!
- Your last sentence can either summarise or continue to develop. It is better to continue to develop because it will help your task achievement score.
1. In conclusion, the job market is less important than the health of ordinary residents. 2. The bigger issue is the feasibility of such an approach given the lack of financial incentive for those towns to prioritise the foundations for their residents’ well-being over business interests.
- The first sentence of your conclusion should repeat your opinion. Don’t worry about summarising.
- Your final sentence should add an extra detail. Read more about that here.
Vocabulary
It is often suggested that it would be better to erect parks and exercise facilities in new urban developments rather than shopping malls. I agree that this would be an ideal solution as it would spur on increased health awareness.
The main reason detractors are in favour of shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. Malls employ hundreds of workers from cashiers to store clerks to managers as well as the various members of janitorial staff charged with maintaining the mall itself. The benefits are clear when you couple these factors with the increased revenue that businesses bring in the form of taxation and propping up the local consumer product market.
Notwithstanding the economic returns malls bring, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon readily available, is no longer a pressing issue. However, health has become the dominant concern of the decade as obesity soars and heart disease has reached pandemic levels. Well maintained, beautifully landscaped parks and outdoor exercise facilities would instill in residents an obligation to work out. If they are numerous, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to access them.
In conclusion, the job market is less important than the health of ordinary residents. The bigger issue is the feasibility of such an approach given the lack of financial incentive for those towns to prioritise the foundations for their residents’ well-being over business interests.
Answers
often suggested many advise
erect build
new urban developments new towns/cities
ideal solution best way forward
spur on encourage
health awareness caring about your health
detractors opponents
in favour of rathering
cashiers people who ring up your purchases
store clerks people working in shops
janitorial staff charged cleaners
couple combine
increased revenue more money
taxation taxes
local consumer product market items being sold there
notwithstanding regardless of
economic returns money generated
bring create
readily availablecan be found anywhere
no longer not anymore
pressing issue important problem
dominant concern most pressing worry
obesity soars people getting fatter
reached pandemic levels has become a crisis
well maintained kept in good shape
landscaped the ground well-shaped
instill cause to be in
obligation responsibility/feel obligated to
numerous lots of
access get into
job market employment
ordinary normal
feasibility possibility
lack of financial incentive no money in it
prioritise focus on
well-being health
business interests financial factors
Pronunciation
ˈɒf(ə)n səˈʤɛstɪd
ɪˈrɛkt
njuː ˈɜːbən dɪˈvɛləpmənts
aɪˈdɪəl səˈluːʃən
spɜːr ɒn
hɛlθ əˈweənəs
dɪˈtræktəz
ɪn ˈfeɪvər ɒv
kæˈʃɪəz
stɔː klɑːks
ˈʤænɪtə rɪəl stɑːf ʧɑːʤd
ˈkʌpl
ɪnˈkriːst ˈrɛvɪnjuː
tækˈseɪʃən
ˈləʊkəl kənˈsjuːmə ˈprɒdʌkt ˈmɑːkɪt
ˌnɒtwɪθˈstændɪŋ
ˌiːkəˈnɒmɪk rɪˈtɜːnz
brɪŋ
ˈrɛdɪli əˈveɪləbl
nəʊ ˈlɒŋgər ˈprɛsɪŋ ˈɪʃuː
ˈdɒmɪnənt kənˈsɜːn
əʊˈbiːsɪti sɔːz
riːʧt pænˈdɛmɪk ˈlɛvlz
wɛl meɪnˈteɪnd
ˈlænskeɪpt
ɪnˈstɪl
ˌɒblɪˈgeɪʃən
ˈnjuːmərəs
ˈæksɛs
ʤɒb ˈmɑːkɪt
ˈɔːdnri
ˌfiːzəˈbɪlɪti
læk ɒv faɪˈnænʃəl ɪnˈsɛntɪv
praɪˈɒrɪˌtaɪz
wɛl-ˈbiːɪŋ
ˈbɪznɪs ˈɪntrɪsts
ˈprɛsɪŋ ˈɪʃuː
ˈdɒmɪnənt kənˈsɜːn
əʊˈbiːsɪti sɔːz
riːʧt pænˈdɛmɪk ˈlɛvlz
wɛl meɪnˈteɪnd
ˈlænskeɪpt
ɪnˈstɪl
ˌɒblɪˈgeɪʃən
ˈnjuːmərəs
ˈæksɛs
ʤɒb ˈmɑːkɪt
ˈɔːdnri
ˌfiːzəˈbɪlɪti
læk ɒv faɪˈnænʃəl ɪnˈsɛntɪv
praɪˈɒrɪˌtaɪz
wɛl-ˈbiːɪŋ
ˈbɪznɪs ˈɪntrɪsts
IELTS Vocabulary Practice
Remember and fill in the blanks:
It is __________________ that it would be better to __________________ parks and exercise facilities in __________________ rather than shopping malls. I agree that this would be an __________________ as it would __________________ increased __________________.
The main reason __________________ are __________________ shopping malls is their benefit to the economy. Malls employ hundreds of workers from __________________ to __________________ to managers as well as the various members of __________________ with maintaining the mall itself. The benefits are clear when you __________________ these factors with the __________________ that businesses bring in the form of __________________ and propping up the __________________.
__________________ the __________________ malls __________________, parks and sports facilities would do more to encourage better health. In most developed nations, buying more products, especially with online services such as Amazon __________________, is __________________ a __________________. However, health has become the __________________ of the decade as __________________ and heart disease has __________________. __________________, beautifully __________________ parks and outdoor exercise facilities would __________________ in residents an __________________ to work out. If they are __________________, then older people and children, who may not be able to travel far, will also be able to __________________ them.
In conclusion, the __________________ is less important than the health of __________________ residents. The bigger issue is the __________________ of such an approach given the __________________ for those towns to __________________ the foundations for their residents’ __________________ over __________________.
IELTS Listening Practice
Listen and use some of these ideas to practice:
IELTS Reading Practice
Read the article below and improve your IELTS reading using these ideas:
https://www.wired.com/story/photo-gallery-retail-apocalypse/
IELTS Student Sample Corrections
It is often
suggested that municipal government should provide more public parks and sports
facilities in new towns instead of shopping centres. I will discuss
both views but personally, I agree that the rewards of building new sports
facilities and parks, which include encourage a
healthy lifestyle, outweigh the benefits of establishing new shopping malls. [G1]
Generally
speaking, one of the benefits of building new shopping malls is that local
residents can more easily shopping near their
residence. The majority of households go shopping regularly
regular
shopping for food, clothes or other household
goods. If there is a shopping mall in their towntheir town
lacks a shopping mall, people could shoppingcan find
all
the items they need in one shopping mall instead of going to
scattered shops or driving an hour to access other shopping centres from closer to their
home. This results in a regional shopping centre offering a convenient
lifestyle for your typical the residents
who go shopping on a regular basis. [G2]
Despite of the
advantage of building shopping centres in a town, providing sports facilities
and public parks has a greater number ofmore positive
impacts on local residents. Sports centres and parks play an important role in
improving a healthy lifestyle for
people. If there are those facilities next to their house, people are can easily
to access and can spend time together with their family and friends. For
example, children can play football with their pupils after school, and parents
can go to swimming after finishing work. If these facilities were
located in their town, people readily can acres and use them, it would help
maintaining their healthy life style. [G3]
In conclusion, I feel that there are clear advantages building new sports centre and parks in a new town, include a health life style benefit, rather than adding a new shopping centre. Improving public health is more important than creating a convenient shopping experience.[G4]
Word count: 297
[G1]Really great intro – nice to include your overall opinion as well as the main idea for it – great sentence!
[G2]Good clear paragraph, the vocabulary is good but nothing special
[G3]Also good, it could be a bit more specific and detailed to fully support your reasons. If people life far from parks, especially in poorer neighborhoods where children need the exercise the most, they are unlikely to have the time or ability to get there. Or focus as well on older people who need exercise but are unlikely to have the desire or ability to travel far.
[G4]Great last sentence!
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