This is an IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer essay on the topic of retirement from the real past IELTS test/exam.
It is an interesting question and it took me some time to think about my main ideas and examples for it.
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You can find the real past questions from IELTS writing task 1 here, task 2 here and speaking here.
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Before reading, make sure that you listen to the audio below and take some notes to improve your listening, then compare with the written answer:
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer Essay: Retirement (Real Past IELTS Tests/Exams)
Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Real Past IELTS Tests/Exams
Many today have come to the conclusion that retired seniors should be supported by the government and not left to their own meagre resources. While I agree there are certain cases where governments are liable, citizens ought to be incentivised to handle their own finances.
The main reason many support a government backed retirement plan is the dire condition of many seniors. There are a number of possible causes deserving due attention. Some seniors are without family, others may be war veterans and have trouble finding work due to physical or psychological impairments, and still others may be victims of economic downturns. Without support they must fall on the mercy of society and will wind up at soup kitchens and seeking out chronic charity or even begging. Simply put, governments are their last refuge and in the best position to lend a helping hand.
Despite the rare instances mentioned above, nations ought to encourage ownership of one’s own future. If all citizens knew the government would provide a decent retirement fund for them, they would have little incentive to work hard, save money and make wise investments. Governments deal with large sample sizes and, granted this would not happen with many responsible adults, it still poses a sizeable national risk. An analogous example of this is the way parents raise their children. They provide for them early on, much like how governments offer free schooling, but then children are expected to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. Parents that coddle their children for too long end up spoiling them in the same way that a national retirement fund would deprive individuals of the opportunity to become self-reliant.
In conclusion, the advantages of a more self-assured, mature citizenry outweigh the odd unavoidable case of desperation. There should be a degree of balance to allow for these exceptions while still nurturing more life-affirming values.
Word Count: 315
Analysis
1. Many today have come to the conclusion that retired seniors should be supported by the government and not left to their own meagre resources. 2. While I agree there are certain cases where governments are liable, citizens ought to be incentivised to handle their own finances.
- The first sentence simply restates the overall topic for the essay.
- In my next sentence, I give an overall opinion. You don’t have to include your main ideas but it can help your cohesion and coherence score if you do.
1. The main reason many support a government backed retirement plan is the dire condition of many seniors. 2. There are a number of possible causes deserving due attention. 3. Some seniors are without family, others may be war veterans and have trouble finding work due to physical or psychological impairments, and still others may be victims of economic downturns. 4. Without support they must fall on the mercy of society and will wind up at soup kitchens and seeking out chronic charity or even begging. 5. Simply put, governments are their last refuge and in the best position to lend a helping hand.
- Write a topic sentence with a clear main idea at the end.
- Begin to develop your main idea. Notice how I mix long and short sentences.
- Include specifics! Don’t be general!
- State the result to further develop your arguments.
- Summarise your argument by relating it back to the main topic.
1. Despite the rare instances mentioned above, nations ought to encourage ownership of one’s own future. 2. If all citizens knew the government would provide a decent retirement fund for them, they would have little incentive to work hard, save money and make wise investments. 3. Governments deal with large sample sizes and, granted this would not happen with many responsible adults, it still poses a sizeable national risk. 4. An analogous example of this is the way parents raise their children. 5. They provide for them early on, much like how governments offer free schooling, but then children are expected to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. 6. Parents that coddle their children for too long end up spoiling them in the same way that a national retirement fund would deprive individuals of the opportunity to become self-reliant.
- Write a new topic sentence with a new main idea.
- Explain your main idea if it needs explanation.
- Here I lay out exactly why this is important for governments – because of the large population they must deal with.
- I argue here by analogy, which is a kind of example.
- This sentence continues my analogy.
- I conclude the paragraph by finishing the analogy.
1. In conclusion, the advantages of a more self-assured, mature citizenry outweigh the odd unavoidable case of desperation. 2. There should be a degree of balance to allow for these exceptions while still nurturing more life-affirming values.
- Repeat your opinion.
- Add in an extra detail or final thought for full marks for task achievement from the IELTS examiner.
Vocabulary
Many today have come to the conclusion that retired seniors should be supported by the government and not left to their own meagre resources. While I agree there are certain cases where governments are liable, citizens ought to be incentivised to handle their own finances.
The main reason many support a government backed retirement plan is the dire condition of many seniors. There are a number of possible causes deserving due attention. Some seniors are without family, others may be war veterans and have trouble finding work due to physical or psychological impairments, and still others may be victims of economic downturns. Without support they must fall on the mercy of society and will wind up at soup kitchens and seeking out chronic charity or even begging. Simply put, governments are their last refuge and in the best position to lend a helping hand.
Despite the rare instances mentioned above, nations ought to encourage ownership of one’s own future. If all citizens knew the government would provide a decent retirement fund for them, they would have little incentive to work hard, save money and make wise investments. Governments deal with large sample sizes and, granted this would not happen with many responsible adults, it still poses a sizeable national risk. An analogous example of this is the way parents raise their children. They provide for them early on, much like how governments offer free schooling, but then children are expected to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. Parents that coddle their children for too long end up spoiling them in the same way that a national retirement fund would deprive individuals of the opportunity to become self-reliant.
In conclusion, the advantages of a more self-assured, mature citizenry outweigh the odd unavoidable case of desperation. There should be a degree of balance to allow for these exceptions while still nurturing more life-affirming values.
Answers
come to the conclusion now believe
retired seniors old people no longer working
left to their own meagre resources have to survive with little
liable responsible/at fault
incentivised encouraged
handle their own finances be in charge of their own money
government backed retirement plan pension/national retirement funds
dire condition difficult situation
deserving due attention worth thinking about
war veterans people who fought in wars/battles
physical or psychological impairments injured in their body or mind
victims people hurt
economic downturns recessions/depressions/bad market
fall on the mercy of society require help from society
wind up end up
soup kitchens where the homeless line up for food
seeking out chronic charity always be in need of help
begging asking for money
last refuge final hope
best position good vantage point
lend a helping hand help out
ownership of one’s own future in charge of your own destiny
decent retirement fund enough money to live on after working
little incentive no reason to
make wise investments put your money into good projects
large sample sizes lots of people
granted I concede that
poses holds
sizeable national risk big possible drawbacks for the country
analogous example instructive similar situation
provide for them early on raise them
take responsibility for their own lives be self-sufficient
coddle spoil, treat too well
spoiling them letting them do whatever they want
fund give money to
deprive keep from
self-reliant independent
self-assured confident
mature adult
odd unavoidable case of desperation occasional difficult situation
a degree of balance some equality
allow for make possible
exceptions outside the norm
nurturing encouraging/growing
life-affirming values considering healthy habits good
Pronunciation
kʌm tuː ðə kənˈkluːʒən
rɪˈtaɪəd ˈsiːnjəz
lɛft tuː ðeər əʊn ˈmiːgə rɪˈsɔːsɪz
ˈlaɪəbl
ɪnˈsɛntɪvaɪzd
ˈhændl ðeər əʊn faɪˈnænsɪz
ˈgʌvnmənt bækt rɪˈtaɪəmənt plæn
ˈdaɪə kənˈdɪʃən
dɪˈzɜːvɪŋ djuː əˈtɛnʃ(ə)n
wɔː ˈvɛtərənz
ˈfɪzɪkəl ɔː ˌsaɪkəˈlɒʤɪkəl ɪmˈpeəmənts
ˈvɪktɪmz
ˌiːkəˈnɒmɪk ˈdaʊntɜːnz
fɔːl ɒn ðə ˈmɜːsi ɒv səˈsaɪəti
wɪnd ʌp
suːp ˈkɪʧɪnz
ˈsiːkɪŋ aʊt ˈkrɒnɪk ˈʧærɪti
ˈbɛgɪŋ
lɑːst ˈrɛfjuːʤ
bɛst pəˈzɪʃən
lɛnd ə ˈhɛlpɪŋ hænd
ˈəʊnəʃɪp ɒv wʌnz əʊn ˈfjuːʧə
ˈdiːsnt rɪˈtaɪəmənt fʌnd
ˈlɪtl ɪnˈsɛntɪv
meɪk waɪz ɪnˈvɛstmənts
lɑːʤ ˈsɑːmpl ˈsaɪzɪz
ˈgrɑːntɪd
ˈpəʊzɪz
ˈsaɪzəbl ˈnæʃənl rɪsk
əˈnæləgəs ɪgˈzɑːmpl
prəˈvaɪd fɔː ðɛm ˈɜːli ɒn
teɪk rɪsˌpɒnsəˈbɪlɪti fɔː ðeər əʊn lɪvz
ˈkɒdl
ˈspɔːɪlɪŋ ðɛm
fʌnd
dɪˈpraɪv
sɛlf-rɪˈlaɪənt
sɛlf-əˈʃʊəd
məˈtjʊə
ɒd ˌʌnəˈvɔɪdəbl keɪs ɒv ˌdɛspəˈreɪʃən
ə dɪˈgriː ɒv ˈbæləns
əˈlaʊ fɔː
ɪkˈsɛpʃənz
ˈnɜːʧərɪŋ
laɪf-əˈfɜːmɪŋ ˈvæljuːz
Listen and repeat:
Vocabulary Practice
Many today have c______________ that r______________ should be supported by the government and not l______________. While I agree there are certain cases where governments are l______________, citizens ought to be i______________ to h______________.
The main reason many support a g______________ is the d______________ of many seniors. There are a number of possible causes d______________. Some seniors are without family, others may be w______________ and have trouble finding work due to p______________, and still others may be v______________ of e______________. Without support they must f______________ and will w______________ at s______________ and s______________ or even b______________. Simply put, governments are their l______________ and in the b______________ to l______________.
Despite the rare instances mentioned above, nations ought to encourage o______________. If all citizens knew the government would provide a d______________ for them, they would have l______________ to work hard, save money and m______________. Governments deal with l______________ and, g______________ this would not happen with many responsible adults, it still p______________ a s______________. An a______________ of this is the way parents raise their children. They p______________, much like how governments offer free schooling, but then children are expected to grow up and t______________. Parents that c______________ their children for too long end up s______________ in the same way that a national retirement f______________ would d______________ individuals of the opportunity to become s______________.
In conclusion, the advantages of a more s______________, m______________ citizenry outweigh the o______________. There should be a______________ to a______________ these e______________ while still n______________ more l ______________.
Listen and check:
Listening Practice
Listen to the Ted Talk below and use these ideas to practice:
Reading Practice
Here is a relevant article on the same topic as the essay above:
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/07/public-option-can-ease-retirement-crisis/593722/
Nice one!
Thank you!
i am not agree with that opinion , but there are plenty of nice words
Thank you! Why don’t you agree?
j